Wow, 22 years have gone by since I first saw you. You, the person that was gonna shape my attitude, the person that was going to be my hero and my enemy, the person who, every day I would look even more like, act even more like and think even more like. The person that, in his own way, was gonna support me in every decision I took(and I have some crazy ones), unconditionally. The person that was going to show me how to be a great fighter, and also a great thinker. The person that was going to inspire me, to challenge me and to teach me even more than he could ever imagine. The person that, in his own way, was gonna take care of me as no one ever will. The person that sometimes I might disappoint for my crazy attitude. And, 22 years ago, you saw me, the person that was going to remind you what you hate from yourself, because she is just like you. The person that was going to be your best friend, and sometimes challenge you in ways you could have never imagined. And yes, I’ve said a couple of times “in his own way” because of course you haven’t been perfect, no one is, but trust me, you have done a great job. Thanks to you, I have a lot of virtues and a lot of defects, and I think that every single day, I’m even more like you. You are my favourite person to fight with and that’s one of the things that make our relationship so special, that’s how we have learned to show all the love we have for the other. You have the weirdest way of supporting me and I have learned how to interpret that. You have the weirdest way of showing you love me but I have learned how to understand you. Yes, you are one of the weirdest persons I’ve known, and I know that sometimes I make fun of you, of the fact that you are a loner for example, but you know what? every single day I’m even more like you and, you know what? I love that because, you know what? you are one of the most interesting persons I’ve ever met, and I think a lot of people think the same, but they don’t have the pleasure of having you as life teacher and as a father.
You have taught me how to: eat fruit like a monkey, be practical, be analytical, read, be patient, think before talking, eat standing up, travel, be kind with everyone, enjoy good music, enjoy bad music, enjoy some things that don’t even sound like music, enjoy good movies, enjoy bad movies, hate happy endings, wear man’s clothes, wear girl’s clothes, take care of myself, save money, spend money, admire people, be silent, be loud, be rude, be kind, science, good food, love art, love Cirque du soleil, love theatre, love New York, differing the needs, not having limits, asking why? asking how? not asking anything at all when I know I will get an uncomfortable answer, like Woody Allen, not buying gifts, not doing touristic stuff, never have debts, business, responsibility, how to be independent, how to iron with water, how to look elegant, how to be silly, how to be serious, how to be independent, creativity, Ving Tsun, blues, keeping it simple, and so many other things.
Sometimes I have to play the adult in the matter of trying to stop fighting for example, but I will always be daddy’s girl. I remember when my grandfather told me “I have never met anyone that loves his daughters more than your father does”, and I agree with him. I know that you’ve had a hard time learning how to use your feelings, and I don’t blame you, al contrario, I admire you, because even being that way, people can notice how much you love us, and again, nobody’s perfect, and I’m glad that I have learnt that from you.
Dad, something I never told you, and I’ve been thinking a lot while being abroad, is how much I love your birthday tradition. Yes, when I was a teenager I thought(just for 1 year) that it was lame, but hey, that’s a teenager’s job, to think that their parents are lame and weird, but I regret the day that I locked my door on my birthday and didn’t let you in, and trust me, I felt really sad the whole day, but I’m glad you were mature enough to understand it and still played the birthday song at night after telling me “You know I don’t like to owe anything but money so here it is” and, since that day you have never gone into my room to play me the birthday song, it has been by the phone, but, you know what? since that day I’ve been leaving my door open on every birthday hoping that you will come in and play the song to me. And you know what? now I want to learn how to play the harmonica, or at least that song, so, when I have kids, I can play it to them on every birthday because I love that tradition.
We are both really, REALLY bad at telling each other how we feel and we have never learned how to talk about our feelings or thoughts, and hey, I don’t have a problem with that, that’s how our relationship has always worked, but I’ve been learning how to love more, appreciate more and forgive more. Yes, I had some resentments for things that have happened in the past but I understand that you are just living your life, the best way you can, and sometimes we never realise how we affect other people on the way, but the truth is that, thank’s to all of the things you have done( and not done) for me, I am who I am today, and I really love that person. You know what? The other day I met a guy and one of the things he told me was “I would love to meet your father, he has done a great job” maybe it was just his pick up line, or maybe not, but he sounded sincere while saying it, and it made me appreciate you a lot more and, appreciate me a lot more.
I have never learned how to say I love you, and yes, I learnt that from you, but Dad, even if I have said this to you less than 10 times in the past 10 years, I love you more than anything in the world(except mommy, I love her the same amount of more than anything).
I also know that I haven’t been the perfect daughter, and I know that sometimes I’ve disappointed you, but I also know how proud you are of me and that you are sure that, any problem I have, I will solve it; I learnt that from you and thanks to you.
Thank you for being a great source of inspiration, love and weirdness in my life.
Ding Dong, Donají.