Ask a better question when faced with challenges

Donnell King
Mar 13, 2018 · 3 min read
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Friends who know us well sometimes express amazement at the challenges we have faced. I don’t want to list them all here. I’ll just say that several have observed that it seems statistically impossible for one family to have experienced all that we have.

Just for context: I am used to hearing someone say, “We’ve never seen that before.”

For instance, my daughter

Our cars

“Oh, Lord!” he said as he quickly pulled to the shoulder. “I have been working on cars for over 30 years, and I’ve never heard one make that sound before.”

My relationship with computers

It can make you paranoid

I have sympathized with Job quite a bit. Surely this evidence supports the computer simulation theory, the idea that we all live in a Matrix-like computer simulation, something that some scientists take quite seriously.

In such circumstances, a lot of people understandably ask, “Why me?”—a self-pitying question I confess to having asked on many occasions, and one I have frequently heard from fellow members of the community of parents of disabled children.

Philosophical considerations aside, it is neither a helpful nor empowering question. I think we would have given up long ago if we let ourselves stay with that question.

A better question

“What do we do now?”

That gets us thinking about what to do about whatever has happened instead of wallowing in the circumstanced that led to it.

The quality of your questions will shape the quality of your answers.

I gotta tell you, life still sucks a lot of times. But it doesn’t suck as long or as hard when I remember to ask “what’s next?” or “what do we do now?” instead of “why me?”

About the writer

Donn King helps you communicate confidently. He writes a lot, too, a habit he hasn’t been able to break for nearly 50 years. Connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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