How Do You Solve a Problem Like Korea?
The following poem gives voice to the President’s feelings aka strategy in regards to North Korea. It is an official poetic product of the Administration, composed by the Heidegger hologram in his capacity as Assistant White House Press Secretary.
Wave a flag in front of your face until your eyes turn into stars.
Once you’ve become the night-reflecting ocean, release your Tridents
and scrape your coral down to sailors’ bones and ancient coins.
America understands North and South. America knows exceptional:
it means being the exception. That’s why America makes the rules.
Hey, we know what it’s like to be caught between China and Japan.
And my advisers inform me that they have the best Sushi.
I know you’re concerned that I know nothing about their culture,
but I don’t know anything about Western culture either,
and yet I’ll fight to the death to protect it.
The North needs to be taught a lesson. The South has risen.
The South is an idea, or rather, a feeling. Or rather, a fist.
And two of the fingers might be colored but the fist is white,
by which I mean righteous, by which I mean winning.
You’d be surprised how many household tasks can be done with a fist
if you have the will for it. The fist is an ambassador of the will,
and so my diplomacy swings Eastward,
like a wind of Gods,
like a solution.