I’m so sorry for the pain you went through. I am married to a man from a Mormon family (all now deceased). He left the church decades ago, realizing it’s controlling culture was cultist, and also no longer believing Mormon doctrine. He didn’t leave church entirely, just the LDS version. He later became a pastor and then a prison chaplain. The harm done to family members who tried, and failed, to live up to Mormon standards, was irreparable and still has ripple effects today. I wish you well.