7 Stages of healing from Love Relationship
Stages of Healing and moving On from a relationship
this is actually quite a personal sharing..its also stages I been through from moving on after a relationship.And..may it shorten or enlighten your healing process if you are right now trying to move on from a relationship.Yes,it take courage for me to share also lol..but i feel im guided to share to help and inspire people who are now going through challenging times.
Healing from a relationship is a process..ultimately is a lesson of loving yourself and forgiveness.
I think the separation here is I am referring to is ending a relationship with someone you still have feelings,someone you truly love.I think its when we have to separate from someone that we still have feelings,that we are actually hurt..especially when it happen so sudden.
If we are separated from someone that we have no feelings,i believe that is clearing and cutting the cord of leaving from unhealthy relationships.If this is the case,its is a logical and a sense of relief.
Stage 1:Anger and Blame
Receiving the sudden news of separation naturally response is a shock especially when everything seems going well.Then followed by heart pain,tears,lost.Then question like why.and then self conclusion of all the negativity towards love.True Love doesnt exist.There is no good guy/gal. Im not going to fall in love again.u feel anger towards your partner for making you feel this way.suddenly,the whole world like fall apart.Then ,you hate yourself for crying so much over a partner .
Stage 2:Missing
After all the venting,you are calmer now.you still miss the person..yearn to be with the person.missing the sweet memories.and seeeing the photos of your ex bring you tears every now and then.
Hardly anyone could understand your feelings.Your friends usually just say..move on.They couldn’t understand at all.You also stop sharing with your friends about how much you miss,coz its no point but only become bothering your friend with the same old stuffs..In the end,you keep it all to yourself.and..a part of your heart just wish for reconciliation.
Stage 3:Awakening
Then no matter how sad you feel,life goes on.You need to bounce yourself up.Life isn’t just about romance relationships.There are other priorities too and family cares about you too.you can’t just drown yourself into the past and become depressed.And..then the question of..why did we meet?what’s the purpose?everything happen for a reason.everyone we meet come to teach us something.you start to reflect and search for answers.
You start to take responsibility of all actions and decisions than seeing yourself as a victim.Because you learnt to be responsible,you also have the power to release and let go of the victim hood. The truth ultimately it takes two to tango.Its about forgiving yourself than blaming yourself.The truth is there may actually already signs but we just didn’t notice or choose to ignore and pretend things are okay when we are in the relationship.
Stage 4:Gratitude and Forgiveness
Gradually,as time pass..you gain more insights.You start to see the lessons and purpose.When you are able to see the lessons and the beauty of separation,you start to feel thankful.Even though if it is someone that hurt you,you feel thankful through the person you learnt the lesson.Even though if it is someone that love you,you feel thankful for the person,thankful for the love,and thankful for the sweet memories.As you are feeling more thankful,you open your heart to forgive.forgive the person and forgiving yourself.you feel thankful that you have become a better person,whether growing spiritually or found your purpose through the experience.Personally,this is how I found my purpose and living my purpose now of doing angel tarot card reading and coaching.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean who is right or wrong.Forgiveness is setting yourself free because you love yourself.It is no need to punish yourself.It is silly of thinking you are poisoning someone while you are actually the one drinking the poison yourself.When there is love,there couldn’t be hate.
You start to awaken to the fact that The past you and the past him/her no longer exist in the present moment.You both grow and have changed.And to still cry and sad over someone or missing the memories of past that no longer exist in the present moment,doesn’t make any sense but only robbing you from enjoying the true moment of now.
From your heart,you can truly bless the partner to be happy,healthy and safe no matter where the person is.It doesn’t matter so much anymore whether you both are together.Even if you two ever meet in future,its still a new relationship with the new you and the new him/her.
Stage 5:Letting go and Make peace with the Past
Because you saw the blessings,you start to let go..letting go of past.You start to delete your ex photos and msgs.you start to throw away any things that belong to your ex with gratitude.When you are able to delete and clear things physically,you find it easier to let go mentally too.
Through letting go,you are opening a space to welcome and embrace new relationship.
Stage 6:I deserve Love
Our relationship with others reflect our relationship with ourselves.Through the healing journey,its usually about bringing back the focus to loving yourself first.You can’t give what you don’t have.To be able to give love,you must first love yourself..and let love pour through you.Otherwise,its a cycle of seeking external environment trying to please others,trying to seek approval of others to try to fill that emptiness inside.This is a energy draining and tiring process.
As you start to treat yourself with love,tender and care,you will feel joyful and happy. As you are feeling more happy,you are naturally increasing your energy of your vibration to higher vibration of joy and Love. Because you know you deserve love,you no longer allow the past to block yourself from enjoying true love right now that you truly deserve.Because you love yourself,all it matters is a partner who love,cherish and respect you.It might be the ex again.It might be someone new as well.and it doesn’t matter so much anymore.Just being open to possibilities.
Personally,because i am now so blessed and happily living my purpose of guiding and helping people through my spiritual gifts,it is important for me that my partner is someone who supports my dreams as well.
And because you are truly feeling happy and blessed,you are now over flowing with love,and just want to share with a partner.you start to feel positive towards love.You know what hurts you is the person and not love.Its not about you seeking love anymore,but someone that you choose to love,someone that u give love,share love,receive love.
Stage 7:Open your heart
Because you have learnt,you have grown,you find it is safe to open your heart now.Opening your heart is a challenge as your ego will always remind you and generate fear of the past may happen again..the thoughts of what if experiencing hurt again.whether the new person can be trusted.It is also time to clear all limiting beliefs that you have formed during your heart break.that you know those beliefs are just not true.These are just false opinions.FEAR is just false evidence appearing real.
However,deep in your soul,you know its just ego and its not truth.The truth is you have learnt,and you grown wiser and stronger.You have become even a better person.The truth is to block yourself from enjoying love relationship in the now because of someone in past who don’t cherish you is not making any sense at all.You know it is safe to open you heart.At the same time,you know it is all about loving yourself first.
So these 7 stages are what I sum up from my own personal journey of healing.May this inspire you and enlighten you..As I live the mission to inspire people,and that include opening up to share my own story..and may my sharing inspire you to open your heart to share your story too..to inspire people around you.
To end this blog,here is a personal love poem I wrote for myself..
At first,yearning and missing,
then gradually lesser,
Then remembering the sweet memories,
ur voice,ur laugh..
And then feeling thankful
thankful for everything
and sorry for everything.
Then it doesn’t matter anymore,
Just want to wish you all the best
U being happy,smiling always even I
couldn’t see,
U being healthy,that’s more important
than anything,
U living your purposeful life,
For this is what we come to do.
Then it doesn’t matter who’s the guy,
I know I deserve love now
The guy I’m with is a guy who is
charming,pamper and cherish me,
a guy who is understanding and
support my dreams.
U become a possibility,
Someone new is also a possibility.
I didn’t know how much I can love,
until I know you..
Can I love a guy this much again?
Yes I can and I will or even more.
Because I deserve Love now.