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This is not our bathroom, but I wish it was. Photo by yann maignan on Unsplash

We Fired Our Plumber Because He’s a Homophobe

We should have never even let him into our house.

Our cabin imploded recently. A chain reaction brought us a wood rat infestation, followed by running out of propane, which feeds our stove and hot water heater (not by choice — this is a rental). After getting the propane tank refilled we discovered a leak in the stove we were already planning to take to the dump and a hot water heater that had given up the ghost.

A while back while my wife was still in Canada, the plumber came over for a different issue and, while I can’t even remember how the conversation started, began to lay his version of Jesus down in my living room, telling me how homosexuality was an abomination and blah blah etc. etc… Maybe he was making assumptions based on my feminine appearance or the fact that I have a daughter, but he also had some issues with Muslim folk that were unrealistic and terribly misguided, so I simply chalked it up to the fact that while the man could deal with shit skillfully, he was otherwise completely ignorant.

I’m not one for confrontation, however, especially in my own living room, and I most certainly can’t dialogue with the ignorant. I let it slide and saged the place when he walked out the door.

Jesus loves everybody and stepped in to help.

This same plumber was called to come and fix our current plumbing crisis, a day-long job of re-piping the bathroom and installing a new water heater, but this time he had to deal with my butch wife. He took one look at the work required, walked out on the job and the following morning, claimed his truck wouldn’t start and gave us a referral to someone else, leaving a family with a child without hot water in the middle of freezing temperatures and the only snowstorm we’ll probably see all year.

Those new folks he referred us to just happen to have their office and dispatch right next door to my office in town. I know them as hardworking people with great references, and I was happy my landlord was okay changing services.

I was straight up with the new guy. “Listen,” I said. “We’re really glad to get rid of that plumber anyway. I’ll tell you right now, we’re a married couple of women with a child, and if you have any problems with that either keep your opinions to yourself or give me another referral here in town.”

“Oh no, ma’am, I have no problems with that at all. My 11 year old daughter is gay.” Then they proceeded to rearrange their entire schedule to come help us.

We won’t ever be calling that first guy back again.