Why I think I just bought the best MacBook on the market. And f**k Apple!

No, its not that stupid new touch bar MacBook (I’ll get back to this in a sec). It’s the previous model. The one with MagSafe, remember? Why the f**k would you remove that piece of beauty?! The MacBook with an SD card slot to download my DSLR‘s pictures? The one with a HDMI port? With USB? Love that thing!

Anyway, so I was saying that the new MacBook Pro is stupid. Before you all jump and shout at me, here’s 5 reasons why I’m saying such blasphemy:

  1. The brand new, amazing Touch Bar (What the f**k is up with this name anyway?! So it’s like bar that you touch ?! Woaaaaaaah!). Let’s say I’m building a web app. I usually do that with my lovely mid 2010 MacBook Pro and a big black … display. So, while I’m working at that perfect interface I’m keeping the lid closed so I can enjoy your beautiful magic keyboard & mouse obviously. (Thanks for the brainwash Steve) Now, how the f**k do you think I can use the new Touch Bar when the lid is closed?!
  2. I can connect 4 monitors to the new MacBook Pro. So.. that’s a fancy way of telling that you removed all the ports except for the USB-C? How many of your MacBook Pro clients work with 4 displays and how many with one?! I’d rather have HDMI, USB and a CARD SLOT than 4 monitors. Wouldn’t you?
  3. No magsafe. I did mention before it’s a beauty. When I think about tripping on that power cable and seeing my brand new macbook smashing on the floor, I really wonder why the f**k would you remove that perfect invention?! Saved me a couple of bucks in the last 6 years.
  4. No USB. Ok. This is just stupid for marketing. Let’s say I buy your new iPhone 7 (I think this is a waste too, but that’s another story). Can I charge my new iPhone 7 on my new MacBook? No. Can I use the headphones from my iPhone 7 with my Macbook? No. Good job!
  5. No Steve. I’m kinda sure I’m starting to notice this on the latest Apple products.

Where’s the innovation? Really. Your last cool phone was the iPhone 4. From that, you just made them thinner, rounder and more powerful. Who the f**k wants a phone that breaks when you put your ass on it?! A bendable phone would be nice though. Put it around your wrist? Maybe a phone that doesn’t brake to pieces when you drop it, huh?! How’s that for a challenge? Think of all the tears you’d save.

Back to the poor book. I’d though the next big thing was an iPad Pro with a extra case that gives it twice the performance, and also has a keyboard and a trackpad. And maybe a trackpad as long as the new carbon body. MultiTouch knows when your wrists are on it or when you’re using it to draw. It could be fun. Hate the new butterfly mechanism by the way. It doesn’t feel right.

I’ve waited almost 7 years to replace my MacBook. It still doesn’t feel like I need to replace it.. because you don’t deserve my money, Apple. All you can give me in 7 years is a thinner, more powerful and blah, blah laptop. It’s still the same… There’s nothing special about it. Nothing wow… and don’t try to convince me with that the piece shit bar. Can you imagine Tiesto standing in front of 1.000.000 people with his fingers trying to fit that stupid bar?! What the f**k is wrong with you?! You could design beautiful and fun products, instead you give us fitter, unusable boxes.

When Steve was at Apple things were more colourful and visionary. Now your just like all the other digital box-making company. How about making the iPad a piece of solid glass that attaches to the body to create the MacBook? What about a digital keyboard with taptic feedback? Maybe it sounds crazy, I don’t know. But it would be cool to have them :D

With al due respect to the team, I think Apple should find a new Steve. Don’t you?

PS: I remembered about the new 27" display I’ve been waiting for 5 years. And f**k Apple!