Dongleville

And ode to Apple’s 2016 MacBook Pro With Apologies to Jimmy Buffet

I got my new laptop,
It came in a white box;
Unwinded the cords and I plugged it right in.
The clicks on the keypad, those sounds made me sad.
Lookin’ for ports — 
I’m beginning to boil.

Wastin’ away again in Apple’s dongleville,
Searchin’ for my lost USB ports.
Some people claim we’re just a don-gle away,
But I know it’s all Apple’s fault.

Don’t know the reason,
It’s up there with treason,
With nothing to show but this brand new clean screen.
But it’s a real beauty,
Apple’s new cutie, how they got here
I haven’t a clue.

Wastin’ away again in Apple’s dongleville,
Searchin’ for my lost USB ports.
Some people claim we’re just a don-gle away,
But I know it’s all Apple’s fault.

I pulled out my thumb drive,
Plugged in a hard drive;
No more room, did not know what to do.
But this USB-C thing,
Will soon be mainstream
It’s that shiny touch bar that helps me hang on.

Wastin’ away again in Apple’s dongleville,
Searchin’ for my lost USB ports.
Some people claim we’re just a don-gle away,
But I know it’s all Apple’s fault.
Yes, and some people claim that we’re a dongle away, 
And I know it’s Apple’s damn fault.

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