Are You a Woman? Take This Quiz to Find Out if You Would Fit in at Our Tech Company!

(This post is in reflection of another that can be found on Medium/Glorious Publication by Kathleen Toohill. I thought a male/non-feminist take on the same kind of questions might be of interest. Edit: just a note that since publishing this, Toohill appears to have blocked me from seeing any of her posts, including the one I linked to; perhaps I was wrong in thinking she was interested in other opinions.)

We’re so glad you’re thinking of joining our tech company. Actually we don’t like to think of ourselves as a company – we’re more like a family where people make a ton of money and get stock options.

Before we kick off the hiring process, we have just a few questions to make sure that you would be a good diversity fit, because the most important thing about our company is diversity in the ways we can label people. Have we mentioned our diversity? It’s great. Here we go!

1. We love diversity at our company – female diversity, race diversity, all the diversities and we don’t care so much about diverse opinions or ways of thinking. But it’s important that the diverse candidates fit in with the rest of the staff. How diverse are you?

a. You play a lot of video games and you like light sports. You make efforts to look smart but given that normal male attire is only ever shirt, tie and suit, you don’t flaunt your femaleness by dressing in whatever you can get away with.

b. You might own high heels, but wear appropriate footwear at work. You understand that there are different topics which people find humorous and you like dirty jokes, particularly ones that involve non-diverse people (i.e. heterosexual males).

c. You are a woman but you are heterosexual, white and non-disabled.

2. If you’re working on a project with a male manager who gives you advice that you find questionable, do you:

a. Not give a damn about what genitalia he has: this is a workplace, not a chatup site.

b. Bear in mind that as your manager, he might understand the situation better than you do yet be willing to learn or challenge.

c. Attempt to undermine his (or her, as appropriate) authority or override his advice.

3. If a female friend of yours outside the company asks you how welcoming our company is to women and minorities, do you:

a. Tell this friend how hard it is to find many women who care to study science or mathematics but be glad that they have the freedom to do so.

b. Remind your friend that no company is perfect, but diversity is on an upward growth trajectory across the board.

c. Tell your friend that there are no Asian M-F transexuals yet working for the company and it doesn’t matter what the individual knows, they will be hired for their diversity.

4. If you’re told that you probably wouldn’t enjoy the team outing of golf and riflery, and that you might rather take advantage of the time to catch up on work, do you:

a. Ask why the person thinks you would not enjoy such activities.

b. Realise that you might not enjoy the outing and keep away from it.

c. Offer to organise different simultaneous outings at the same time for those with differing diversities, so that each employee can go to exactly their own preferred activity.

5. If you notice that the men in your department consistently go to lunch together and never invite you, do you:

a. Ask them why you are not invited.

b. Ask yourself what you might be doing to distinguish yourself from just being another co-worker.

b. Believe it is your specific diversity – particularly if you are female – that sets you apart and grumble online about it as though it were true.

6. If someone on your team makes a joke about women in front of you, do you:

a. Laugh, only if you find it funny. You do not automatically find it unfunny just because you are a woman.

b. Say something offensive about women, because you think that is what jokes are about.

c. Report to your manager or HR that you are easily offended and want everyone else to change to meet your needs.

7. If another employee asks you out, and you say no, and this person continues asking you out, do you:

a. Tell him or her loudly ‘’no’ in front of people to shame the fool. This will deter most males and at least lets females know that their unwanted advances are a public matter.

b. Give him or her a shot! You might just find yourself attracted to stalkers, after all.

c. Report him or her as though they had sexually harassed you, or move jobs.

8. If, at the annual company gala, their is a Female Employee of the Year award, do you:

a. Wonder why there isn’t a Male Employee of the Year, Asian Employee of the Year, Disabled Person Employee of the Year, Transgender Employee of the Year, Under 4'9" Employee of the Year, Brunette Employee of the Year …

b. Realise that women get a great deal of special attention.

c. Decide that you should have won an award for your particular set of ‘diversity’ labels.

For each “a” answer you circled above, give yourself one point. For each “b” answer, give yourself two points. For each “c” answer, give yourself 25 points. If you think the whole stupid thing is part of a stupid idiocy by companies that would do better to concentrate on how to make profits by concentrating on meeting customers’ needs, score zero.

If you scored less than 20 points on the quiz, you probably wouldn’t be a good diversity fit. Best of luck finding employment!