VICTORIA

Douglas Semple
Nov 2 · 4 min read
Victoria On Her Motor Chair

The other day I had thought my cousin Victoria had been in a bad accident and died as a result.

A couple of us were concerned enough to try to find out if it was her that was in that accident. My friend called the local hospital and was told it was not her but we were not so sure.

The following day Emily confirmed that it was not her.

We were rightly relieved to hear that.

Victoria has been on the streets here in Thunder Bay for some years now. She lost part of one leg due to diabetic complications and now rides around in a motorized wheelchair.

When Victoria lost her daughter a few years back, she took her home to Kingfisher Lake for burial and stayed for a time up there. She told some of us she felt so lonesome when she was up there. I guess she had gotten used to urban living and missed the friendships she had developed while she was here. So she decided to come back here.

She decided to come back despite her family not wanting her to do so.

Many things have happened to her since then. She is now part of the “street people” community.

I run into her every so often as others have. She is always happy and laughing. She never guilt trips me into giving her money as many of the other street people do. We just chat and laugh about things we remember when we were children up north, we laugh about our parents and the things we remember about them, and we laugh about other people and the shenanigans we would hear about them. Sometimes we would even laugh about ourselves.

At one time, I had tried to counsel her to go back up north to live.

“Your family wants you to go home,” I said to her.

She looked at me and said, “Why don’t you go back home.”

“I like living here just as much as you do.”

Then she just laughed and I laughed also.

Her reaction shut me down and I never again bothered her about going home.

Apparently, Emily, a mutual friend of ours had tried to talk to her about going home as well. I guess she got tired of people bugging her about her life on the street and she unloaded on poor Emily.

“I don’t appreciate you talking to me like a child,” she told Emily. “I know how to think and how to figure out ways to deal with my need for accommodations and other things I need. Just leave me alone.”

That was the end of Emily’s efforts to save Victoria.

Victoria is a powerful lady and she does not need me or anyone else to save her.

I think what Emily and I have figured out is that Victoria is happy where she is at. All she wants from us is for us to respect her dignity. So that is how we have started to relate to her. We chat with her, treat her like any other self-determining person that lives here on earth. If she requests, we give her coffee money from time to time.

I know this story goes contrary to what do-gooders believe about street people. These do-gooders go around acting on their “goodness” at the expense of the dignity of these people. I’m here to tell you to just fuck off and leave them alone. They will tell you if sometimes they decide it is time for a change. They will find their way to do this change themselves or they may come to you for assistance on embarking on their change journey.

When they do ask for assistance on this matter, be kind and respectful. Help them to do what they need to do. Don’t go and do everything for them. They are not children to be patronized, and for goodness sake don’t go and do a full-page spread on Facebook about it. Just do it and be quiet.

If you go and crow about it, then it becomes about you. You are using them to make yourself look good. So keep your do-gooder personality to yourself. It’s disgusting to them. It’s disgusting to me, and it’s disgusting to Victoria.

In the meantime, greet them with a smile and chat with them as you meet them on the street.

For Victoria’s family living up north, if you wish to send her something, an item of clothing, you can send it to us that know her and we will get it to her. The clothing item may not have significance as there is lots of clothing here but the thought of her family sending her something will touch her spirit. And don’t worry about her too much. The “street people” look after each other and they seem to be doing an excellent job of doing that. Just continue to pray for her and also pray for us that live here in Thunder Bay. We pray for you that live up there.

For the northern communities that have people living on the street here, one of the things you can do for them is to support the organizations and agencies that work with them every day. We have an excellent Christian Street Ministry called Grace’s Place. I’ve seen this place and went to eat there one time, just to get a feel for it and I can tell you it is an island of peace and hope that picks up someone’s spirit and gives them the will to go another day.

We also have the homeless shelter and the Salvation Army that provide assistance and support for the people coming to them.

A gift of $100 will go a long way for them to continue what they do.

Have a wonderful day. I would say sorry for the colourful language I used in this article but I’m not. Sometimes you have to say what you have to say 🙂.

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