7 Lessons I learned from a Heartbreak which Everyone Should Learn
It was not that bad after all
At the beginning of the year, it was quite funny and there are lots of intrigues for me. I talked about my relationship that was facing one of the most recent challenges, you can read (There is Nothing Wrong in Love) to understand what I felt and the many stories that I published then to connect with my story at that point.
I felt I had lost one of the persons I cared about most in this life. Literarily, our relationship ended twice in a dramatic series. I was emotionally unstable and uptight. Right now I feel and think it was one of the best things that happened to me anyway, and you will know why when you read on.
It takes a sound mind and heart to love, but more to a sound mind, a heart willing to care, tolerate and be long-suffering. Because a lot of things may crop up as the relationship matures that you would never see in the first few months of the relationship, your partners may likely encounter some challenges or have to manage some responsibilities which they have never managed before, and this may really affect everything about them and how they relate with you.
At this point, you need to be patient with them. So, see them through that process and sometimes it may be so overwhelming that they wouldn’t even know how to express it. Cases like this are peculiar when they are stressed and anxiety sets in. It can be really difficult for them to tell how they feel or what makes them feel the way they do. They either act withdrawn or aggressive.
Sometimes that attitude may mean that everything is over between both of you and you all need a fresh start. Well, it shouldn’t be something to be hard on yourself about when it happens, it is an uncontrollable event. Pick a few lessons and make the next relationship better if that is what you desire.
Here are the top lessons that I learned from being heartbroken.
1. It is not the end of the world
Heartbreaks aren’t the end of the world for you — because it wasn’t for me. And the irony of some relationship crises is that it is not the end of the relationship. It is likely a challenging phase for them to go through. Good enough, I and my girlfriend are back like nothing happened.
No matter how attached you both were to each other. Heartbreak doesn’t mean you should shut down.
2. I was the custodian of my feeling
As hurting as heartbreaks could be. Do not allow the momentary challenge to determine the way you feel or act towards others.
I tried as much as I can to manage my feelings — there were periods of mood swings though, but I had to manage it as much as I can.
3. Made me patient
My heartbreak experience made me a little more patient to understand and not conclude yet. After all, the person I was supposed to be angry with is a human being with some sort of limitations (I used this excuse to calm myself).
It was her weakness playing out, and I had to learn to manage it.
I used this incident to see how patient I could be even in the worst of cases.
4. I knew what I could tolerate
It could be had to see a flaw when everything is going fine and everyone is in the euphoria of love. Guess what? Relationship crises help you see all of those flaws staring at you. Then you will learn if it is what you can manage or not.
I didn’t know why I wailed a little when it felt like everything was over. I felt I needed to hold on to the image of the relationship even though I was hurting so much.
I wouldn’t know the definition you would give it, but I think that was me tolerating.
5. Everything wasn’t about love
I understood more the statement which I have heard couples say a few times “everything that holds and binds a marriage isn’t about love alone”.
Sometimes maturity was required with a mixture of tolerance. Because those times were challenging.
6. My focus and productivity enhanced
I was hurting and broken, but I fell in love with my work more. Sincerely for me, it is about family, my relationship, my work, and other people and activities.
I am in love with someone I respect and value so much, and we are fun of each other. You can imagine what it feels like to be away from each other for some time.
I had to find means to bond more with my work, and this was even how I started taking my Medium writings and other of my content creations more seriously. And it has been worth my time.
7. I appreciated what it means to be genuinely in love
Like they would also say, “you can never know the value of what you have until you have lost it.”
For some time, I fell out of love, and I had to understand and value what we had and shared.
Love is really beautiful when you know how to maintain and manage it. And in love too, there are times to be quiet and other times to be away.
I can say I value what it means to be in love right now.
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