A perfect relationship?
I’ve been pretty depressed and generally low for the last 4 years, my kids had the cheek to grow up and leave home; I had a hysterectomy and probably, a bit of an existential crisis. During this time I’ve thought a lot about all the negative things in my life, my marriage and myself.
Now I’m feeling much better, I thought maybe I should rethink some of these negatives, particularly regarding my marriage. It seems to me that we are all expecting an awful lot from a partner and that in doing so, we’re blocking ourselves from actually enjoying what we have. We may not be Heathcliff and Kathy, but lets for once concentrate on what’s actually good here.
So I made a list (I know, sorry, I despise these lists too, always so fake and sickly “Things I am grateful for” Yukk!, but I’m doing it anyway) of things about my husband that are actually pretty cool, and here it is:
- 50% percent of the idiotic things he says/does are funny -NEVER send him to buy groceries, you’ll get ten ridiculous things you didn’t want and won’t use and almost nothing that was on the list eg. “They didn’t have rosemary so I got you some spinach….”
- He’s not a big drinker or gambler (been there done that guy).
- He’s not phased by my mental illness, eg. when I mentioned I now had three Facebook accounts and four email accounts he asked whether that was one each for the friends in my head!
- He tolerates cuddles — even a trainee hermit like me likes a bit of human contact once in a while.
- He’s 100% sure that he wants to be married to me, he’s obviously got a bit of crazy himself..
- He eats everything I cook for him, I don’t know if he actually enjoys it, but he’s appropriately grateful.
- He doesn’t seem to care a damn that I am overweight and I have bright pink hair (I sometimes wonder if he’s actually noticed…).
- He doesn’t have any peculiar sexual proclivities, though this may also appear on the negative list ;)
- He’s happy to be the breadwinner while I follow my dreams.
- Last and most importantly, he works away all week, so I don’t have to smother him with a pillow.
It was surprisingly easy to come up with 10 things that are pretty cool about my hubby and since I wrote the list a while back, I’ve been feeling much more positive and the negative things just don’t seem as important.