Chronically Late Boyfriend Unable to Leave Office Lingo at Work


GIRL sits at table in crowded dimly lit restaurant. GUY enters hurriedly after passing hostess table.

GIRL: You’re late.

GUY: Apologies for the delay. I was working on urgent deliverables against a strict deadline.

GIRL: What type of deliverables would be more important than a dinner date with your fiancé?

GUY: I understand your frustrations and will address them in a moment. I do want to flag upfront that my hands were tied with this one.

GIRL: What the hell are you saying?

GUY pushes forward printed page of text messages.

GUY: I’m attaching for your reference a previous exchange, dated Tuesday at 3pm, where I clearly state that my availability on Thursdays is limited as I have back to back meetings all day.

GIRL: Babe but we agreed on a late dinner. It’s 9pm already…

GUY: Correct, but there was an EOD fire drill that required my undivided attention.

GIRL: You could’ve texted me to give me a warning at least.

GUY: Completely agree with your rationale. In the future I’ll be sure to flag changes in my schedule ahead of time.

GIRL: Babe can you stop talking like this? It’s annoying.

GUY: Apologies, it was not my intention to give off that impression. I was merely trying to work as efficiently as possible to keep all parties involved content.

GIRL: Well I’m not very content right now. Your attitude makes me think you’re not taking this seriously.

GUY: I assure you this project is my top priority at the moment. I’ve been allocating the majority of my time to it.

GIRL: What the hell? It’s not like you’re logging in hours to this relationship! Are you serious?

GUY: My records show I’m eligible for overtime due to the 8+ hours we spent at your parents’ house on Sunday. Will this come on the March 1st paycheck or March 15th?


The End.