Garth, the Palo Alto sys admin with dreams of the desert
Garth always fancied himself as a military man. He’d be no jarhead, though. He’d be special forces or on-the-ground intelligence. Something exciting. He dreams of traveling to exotic destinations and saving oppressed states from evil dictators. A much more interesting life than the 9–5 he works in a windowless server room.
In practice his distaste for authority and a severe reluctance to hard work, means he’s much more likely to be playing Call of Duty than running an obstacle course.
But at least when The Big One comes he’ll be prepared. The SAS Handbook he keeps in his pocket, the 15 cans of SPAM under his bed, and the hour he spends watching The Walking Dead each week while sitting on the stationary-bike will keep him alive.
Things you might hear Garth say:
- “Sorry I’m late, got stuck in a 3-click backup on the 101.”
- “Wanna get brunch at oh-eleven-hundred?”
- “What’s the sitrep on the new XT order?”
- “Roger boss, Wilco”
Trousers by Triple Aught Design, jacket by Aether, hat by Goorin Bros, backpack by Maxpedition, trail shoes by Nike.