Senator Elizabeth Warren had my Vote for President but not my Heart

This evening I began to think about my complicated experience as a liberal voter with a center-left perspective and my “only in my mind” relationship with politician Elizabeth Warren. I was reading multiple diaries, posts, entries, etc, on the Daily Kos platform that truly detailed the pain that many are feeling over the poor showing by Senator Warren during this primary season. It prompted me to reflect on my own decision that took me to ultimately cast my vote for a woman who I felt had betrayed me as a voter in 2016. But I had decided to show her the compassion and support that she withheld from an equally impressive and qualified female candidate in 2016.

I hope that what I am about to express comes off not as an attack on anyone but as a sincere commentary about my personal perceptions about the woman who might have been “President Warren.” I read what many wrote with such heartfelt respect and sadness about their preferred female candidate. Their posts detailed the pain and anger they are feeling at seeing their candidate erased by the MSM. I will say in full disclosure that I voted for Warren 2020 for POTUS but not because she was my favorite candidate. Mine was a protest vote against misogyny. The same damned misogyny which robbed me of the opportunity to see my hero, yes, MY SUPERHERO. HRC, get destroyed day after day during a campaign that also demanded she smile a certain way and laugh but not too loudly through all the insults and false accusations to show her worthiness.

I would ultimately end up supporting and voting for Senator Warren because I was sickened by the MSM’s attempt to erase her upon coming in 4th or 5th in New Hampshire. This blatant disrespect for the candidate and her supporters prompted me to donate money and open my home as a local hub for canvassing and phone banking over the last month before the California primary. I also took to texting in support of Senator Warren. The way the press treated her took me back to 2016 and the vitriolic behavior of many that Secretary Clinton faced. I realized that my denying this female policy wonk from Massachusetts my vote because I was bitter about her less than enthusiastic support of Hillary Clinton made me no better than those who had displayed such despicable hatred toward HRC. I had vacillated between Julian Castro (why not I am brown too and I wanted to see myself reflected in a national leader) and Pete Buttegieg [(again full disclosure I am gay) who was another Rhodes Scholar (like President Clinton) and his intelligence impressed me as well as his humility.] But I decided to put my money where my heart has been since 2008 … I wanted to see a woman get elected in my lifetime.

But truth be told, I never developed that sense of mission in my support of Senator Warren because I saw her as part of the 2016 problem. I don’t see the selfless leader that many others see. I can’t shake the feeling that when she had a chance to support another amazing and highly competent woman she was petty and failed in such an epic manner. Yes, I am biased. But most political positions I would argue are rooted in personal biases. I perceived her as not having the guts to run in 2016 but hated the idea that Hillary would become the first woman elected. And I don’t know with certainty if that came from her wanting that distinction for herself or if it was because she so despised Hillary on a personal level. And even now in any interview given where the topic of Secretary Clinton comes up or she is alluded to, it would seem Elizabeth takes every opportunity to throw shade at Clinton. Any compliment or acknowledgement is always backhanded or veiled as a put down.

Senator Warren withheld her endorsement of Hillary (the only female senator from the Democratic Party to do so ) until she had no choice but to endorse or she would have looked like a true “mean girl.” This was blatant and it sent a message. When Warren had a chance to stand with Hillary she didn’t. Her support was lukewarm and very much a political move, much like her esteemed colleague, Senator Sanders.

In 2020, it is painful to watch all Warren’s great plans and work be ignored. I get no satisfaction in watching how her campaign may be coming to an end. But I do stop and wonder as to what might have happened had Warren on principle stood up and signed off when members of the Black Caucus were desperately looking for a senator to sign off on one of their official protests as the Electoral College was about to meet. Why didn’t she step up to show support for another brilliant woman? I believe the answer lies in the fact that if Hillary had been elected it might have meant waiting eight years instead of four for her opportunity. I have this annoying little feeling that Elizabeth Warren has been guilty of trying to erase the legacy of Hillary Clinton. I’ve no proof nor has anyone else that I know of ever spoken of this. It is my own conclusion based on observations of both women. But what do I know? I am just a rabid supporter of strong women and self-described feminist because the person who most influenced my life was also a kick-ass woman, my mother.