”Oh you want to have kids?
Are you sure?
You’ll change your mind. You’ll see.
You can’t know for sure. People change. People want kids, and then they have kids, and things change.
Once you get older you’ll feel it, this burning desire to not have kids. But then it might be too late. Because you’ll have kids.
You just can’t know for sure. You just can’t be sure you will always want those kids.
Once you hold your baby in your arms all night long unable to sleep or eat or pee you’ll feel differently.
Lots of people say they want kids, when they’re your age. I get it. I get the idea. You’re young, and you have energy and time and you love yourself…all that will change. I promise you.
I’ve seen it a hundred times. I’m just saying. I respect your decision. I’ve just noticed, though, that a lot of people your age say they want kids, then you see them ten years later, you know, with kids, and they wish they hadn’t had kids.
And then it’s too late. Tick tock.
But you’re young. Still pretty young.
Plenty of time to still not have kids.
Think about it. Think about your future. Where did you see yourself? Do you want to be like your parents?
Wouldn’t you rather be like your shiftless aunt Karen?
No kids for aunt Karen. She was just like you when she was younger. Always talking about how much she wanted kids. Had a Pinterest board of nursery decorations and gender reveal cakes and everything.
Look at her now. Traveling to Borneo and Thailand, writing her second novel, all those beautiful bundles of money running around her clean house in a major metropolitan area. I told her the same exact thing I’m telling you.
Life is for not having children. Think about it, okay? Look, it can wait. I don’t want to rush you. You’re still young. There’s still plenty of time to not have kids. Think about it.
Think about your parents. Think about how much they sacrificed, how hard they worked. Did they have you and raise you just so you’d throw away your life? On a child?
What can a child do for you? Look at you. Educated, decent job, expendable income, hobbies, friends. A dog. How can a child replace all of that?
You can’t have both. People will tell you that it’s possible to have a full life and a child but they’re just justifying it to themselves.
I know, I know — you know people with kids, and they seem happy. They tell you that they are fulfilled. They’re just trying to make themselves feel better about all they’ve lost. They regret it. If they haven’t yet, then they will.
I don’t mean to pressure you. Do what you want!
Just know that, you know, it’s the way of the world. We’re all put on this earth to not have kids.
I mean, don’t let me get in your way. It’s your life. You never know what you’ll want when you’re older. I mean, it won’t be kids, I know that for damn sure.
Don’t be mad! I’m just telling you what I’ve seen.
People change. What you want may change. You can always change your mind. I mean, it’s easier to do that if you don’t already have kids. So, you know.
Just think about that. Just do that for me. I don’t mean to pressure you. I just want to give you something to think about. I don’t want you to limit your options, you know.
You’re never too old to not have kids.”
Originally published at erikadprice.tumblr.com.