I am a warning. You don’t want to look like me.

To everyone who’s “concerned about my health” — let’s be honest, you’re not.

Emma Ayres
Nov 18, 2019 · 3 min read

I am unapologetically fat.

I’m a size 18, and I’m not trying to change that. I don’t look in the mirror, forlornly grabbing my stomach, and vow that the diet starts on Monday.

My bingo wings flap when I clap or cheer.

The dimples on my thighs are cute as fuck.

When I dance, my stomach pooch dances with me — albeit slightly out of time.

But I am a warning.

You don’t want to look like me.

You’ve seen one video of me working out, and think you’ve got me all figured out. You, sitting on your sofa. You, with no medical degree. You, with no knowledge of who I am, my medical history, or compassion for me as a human.

I’m a warning to all bodies, everywhere.

You don’t want to look like me, because if you do, it’s a terminal diagnosis for your knees. It’s confirmation that the onset of Type II Diabetes is no longer a possibility. But, most importantly, you don’t want to look like me for one simple reason —

Because, if you looked like me, and realised that it changed NOTHING about who you are, you’d be faced with the truth.

Fat people are not the scum of the earth.

Diet culture is everywhere. From the minute we learn how to interpret conversations, we’re barraged with the idea that a small body is a healthy body. More than half of girls, and one in three boys, aged between six and eight have stated that they want to be thinner. 80% of ten year old girls in the same study had been on a diet.

You don’t want to admit it, but diet culture is everywhere. You demonise fat folks like me so much that our kids are growing up believing that dieting is the only way to live.

Another study from 2000 surveyed the top children’s movies at the time, and found the following:

From birth, we’re teaching that being fat is undesirable.

Is it really any wonder, then, that you felt the need to that comment under a video of a fat marathon runner (who wasn’t running to lose weight) that read “He is a great warning to others. Be careful or you too could look like this.”

Yes. I am a great warning to others.

I’m a warning that you fatphobic assholes are wrong.

I’m warning you all that looking like this — looking like me — isn’t a sin.

I bet it’s terrifying that, after spending your life being told that fatness will drain you of every ounce of happiness, a fat person like me can (shock, horror, etc) be happy.

That fat people like me can work out without having the desire to lose weight.

That, as a fat person, I can pole dance without bringing the pole down from the ceiling.

That I can live my fat life with zero desire to lose weight.

I’m here to warn you all of the dangers of loving yourself.

Hey, thanks for reading!

If you like these words, and the order I put them in, check out my other work over on Sass and Clacks and Dragon Scribe Studios.

Emma Ayres

Written by

Emma Ayres is a freelance writer and blogger from Nottinghamshire, UK.

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