Emotional Intelligence : A Necessity or Just Another Fancy Word?

Being emotionally intelligent. Is it really enough?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) as it is frequently called is the ability to perceive, control, manage, interpret and express emotions; yours as well as of people around you.

Psychiatrists and psychologists around the globe have tried explaining the science behind it in various books and forms; but what does it really mean for people like you and me?

What does having a high or low EQ entail for people like us on a day to day basis?

Let’s try to find out!

What are Emotions?

We as humans have been bestowed with the gift of having an array of emotions which can range from being happy to sad, from being angry to overwhelmed, from nervous to terrified to being heartbroken.

Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions is also important.

• Healthy negative emotions like sadness, concern, healthy anger, disappointment, curiosity etc. can serve as signals that something inside us or outside needs attention or change.
• Unhealthy negative emotions like anxiety, depression, excessive anger, shame/guilt, jealousy etc. leads to overwhelming situations, distress and hamper our well being and day to day life as well.

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Emotional Quotient (EQ) v/s Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is the measure of a person’s ability to reason and solve a problem. It simply compares your ability to perform a particular set of tasks as compared to your peer group.

A traditional IQ test assesses cognitive abilities through vocabulary, reading comprehension and retention, reasoning and math skills.

Meanwhile, EQ assessments test different aspects of emotional intelligence: emotional literacy, empathy, intrinsic motivation and how we navigate emotions.

It has been found that when faced with a difficult situation in a social premise, people or managers with high IQ falter and people with high EQ succeed as they are better able to gauge the situation and the emotional predicaments of the people involved.

• Research done by Travis Bradberry, who is the author of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” suggests that only about 36% of people are emotionally intelligent.
• 95% of surveyed HR managers and 99% of employees believe that emotional intelligence is a must-have skill for every staff member.
• The demand for emotional skills will grow by 26% by 2030 (Mckinsey)
• EI is among the 10 most in-demand skills and will be through at least till 2025 (World Economic Forum)

Emotional Intelligence in workplace

Emotional intelligence statistics

Why is Emotional Intelligence so important?

Subconsciously, we all have been coping, managing or tackling our emotions on a day to day basis.

The people with high EQ do it on a more conscious level than people with lower EQ.

From being called “too sensitive” or “too emotional” to finally accepting that there is a whole lot of neuroscience behind our emotions, we have come a long way.

It has now been widely acknowledged and accepted that your intelligence comprises of emotional intelligence, intellectual capacity and your personality traits.

People with high EQ are also better leaders than people with low EQ as they are able to understand the emotional implications of a situation better and thus connect at a deeper level with their employees and also impart positive motivational attributes towards a shared goal when working with teams.

People with low EQ fail to understand the complexities of human emotions under ordinary and extraordinary circumstances.

That can manifest as anger or trust issues, a lack of confidence or overconfidence, low-stress tolerance, difficulty making decisions, a feeling of inner turmoil, or struggling to empathize with others which leads to complicated relationships.

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How to Develop Higher Emotional Intelligence?

Contrary to popular belief, EQ is a skill that can be learned and acquired. That comes as a good news for professionals who want to sharpen their emotional acumen for leadership roles or also for people who want to improve their overall quality of life.

Here are a few pointers!

1. Self Awareness:

• Being aware of your own emotions, strengths and weaknesses.
• Being able to correctly name and recognise the emotion you are feeling goes a long way in teaching yourself how to manage it as well.
• Having knowledge of how your own unpleasant emotions affect your thoughts, actions and behavior.

2. Self management:

• Understanding and being aware of how your actions can affect others, positively or negatively.
• Practice Mindfulness. It focuses your mind more on the present moment without any judgment or expectation.
• Most religions practise some form of prayer or meditation to calm your mind and bring in a sense of gratitude and appreciation.

3. Social Awareness:

• Active Listening. Try focussing on what the person is saying irrespective of the distractions. Paraphrasing is also a good way to let the person know that you are paying attention.
• It also involves focussing on nonverbal cues such as changes in body language, facial expression (or sometimes reading between the lines).
• Being socially aware also involves accepting your social responsibilities. Being kind to your next door neighbour or a stranger standing next to you in a line is a good way to practice emotional intelligence in a social setting.

4. Relationship Management:

• Empathy, setting healthy boundaries, and non-impulsive decision making skills are some of the prerequisites to sustain fruitful, harmonious and fulfilling relationships.
• Here, emotional awareness and constructive conflict resolution play key roles in building trust and a sense of freedom and safety among individual relationships.

Let’s wind it up!

As human relationships become more complex and with families getting smaller; as people strive to be more independent with every passing decade, the importance of being emotionally intellectual cannot be further overlooked.

However, the intricacies of Emotional Intelligence cannot be discussed at a single go. We will delve into it deeper in future blog posts.

But for now, we do understand that EQ involves inter-personal as well as intra-personal attributes. And just like our muscles need training via exercise, we can improve our emotional fitness and learn new techniques to cope up with the challenges that life throws at us.

The more we practice the more we grow!