lol, delete

I wrote some words about finding jobs but accidentally highlighted and deleted the entire thing so I’m probably doomed. It was a terrible post. There was something about Ambiguity as a literary device. Ambiguity But Actually Painfully Trying To Draw Attention To How Cleverly Ambiguous You’re Being. That was the full title, anyway.

If I don’t find a job soonish, I will have to resort to drastic measures that include sharp objects or other less painful but equally effective methods.

That was the sentence, more or less. It was pretty terrible.

All the jobs seem to require someone who is not me. This is a very defeatist attitude but if I were a job I wouldn’t want me doing me, either.

While I am moping I am also furiously thinking but since moping seems more suitable for public display according to my painstakingly crafted persona, it is the one that gets more airtime. But also it’s because my thinking never gets anywhere. lol. lol is the saddest word in my arsenal, which is why i’m deploying it more and more. I never mean lol. Mostly I mean ‘please help, everything is Bad’. Things usually are. Bad, I mean. Look, if I can convince myself into being properly depressed maybe I can convince myself that ‘’tis only a prick’. Also while I am a terrible invalid, Death is a kind nurse.

No, that was Ironic Emo. OR WAS IT. I’m going to pretend it was ironic because that is terrible prose. I wouldn’t mind dying if I could at least write my death better than that lol.


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