Don’t Complain: What to Change & What to Accept

Unfortunately, there are a lot of complainers in the world. Even if someone has a great life, it seems as if many people can always find something wrong. But thank goodness not everyone is a complainer. Regardless, most people would probably like to make some changes to their lives. There are many things we can change. But we can’t change everything, and so we just need to learn to accept them. So I think it’s important to consider what you can change, and what you can’t.

Your Choices

To begin with, you should accept the choices you have made in the past — both good and bad. Because let’s face it — you can’t change the past. But learn from the bad ones, and then change your actions in the future.

You might think of those bad choices as mistakes. However, I don’t really believe in “mistakes” because I think they are all really just learning opportunities. But unfortunately, many people do think of them as failures. Throughout our lives, many times we have to learn the hard way. So it’s important to forgive yourself and learn from the past. Look at your past actions as a lesson on how to do it better in the future. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

People in Your Life

Next, you need to accept and forgive people who have hurt you. And then change the people you hang out with — for the better. As we all know, you can’t trust everyone. It took me a long time to learn this lesson — and I had to do it the hard way. But I’m probably not the only one. Some people inflict pain on willingly, but others just do it accidentally. Regardless, it is important to forgive them. Not because they necessarily deserve it, but as a gift to yourself. If you let go of the resentment and anger, you will feel free. Holding onto it is not healthy. And then make sure you pay close attention to whom you allow yourself to hang out with. If someone drains your energy and sucks the life out of you, then stop seeing them. If you only allow happy, positive people who are committed to growing as a person, you will be a lot happier.

Your Body

You also should accept and love your body. But what you should focus on and change is your health.

Maybe you want a flatter stomach. Or to be taller. Or shorter. Or maybe to even have different color eyes. Most of those things you can’t change. But what you can do is accept and love your body as it is. Yes, there are people who spend a lot of money on plastic surgery to make themselves look different, but it’s probably not the wisest choice. Learn to love yourself exactly how you are. Accept your looks. But then, focus on your health, because it’s really the only thing you can change. For example, if you want to lose weight, then you will need to stick to your commitment. You’ll need to make healthier food choices and start exercising. Once you do, you will feel very accomplished and as a result, much better about yourself.

You also need to accept your perceived flaws, and then change your definition of what is beautiful. Actually, I don’t think there is such a thing as a “flaw.” We live in a culture that makes us think that if we are not a super model, then we aren’t beautiful. That is so sad, isn’t it? The saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is really true. Instead of focusing on how you look on the outside, look at the beauty you have on the inside. Trust me, there are plenty of super models or movie stars who aren’t “pretty” on the inside. And also vice versa — you could be average-looking, but if you have a good heart, then your beauty will shine through. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be beautiful on the inside.

Your Losses

No one can go through life without having some sorts of losses. Maybe you lost all your money in a bad investment. Or maybe you’re just downright bad at managing your daily finances, so that has put you into debt. And unfortunately, we all have loved ones who pass away. Whatever the loss, most of them are painful in one way or another. Most likely, there is probably nothing you can do to get back what you’ve lost. Unfortunately, that is just the cold, hard truth sometimes.

But what we can do is change how we view our losses. Sure, it’s awful to lose our savings in an investment, but maybe you can look at what you learned. And how to do (or not do) it better in the future. And even if you’ve lost a loved one, you can focus on all the positive things you shared with him/her when they were here. What kind of legacy did they leave? And how can you pass that down for generations to come?

One of my favorite quotations is from Buddha: “It is your resistance to ‘What Is’ that causes your suffering.” It’s also saying pretty much the same thing as the Christian serenity prayer. Both teach us a very important lesson: some things we simply cannot change. So, if we keep resisting that fact, then we are causing ourselves to suffer through our resistance. In other words, it’s not necessarily what is happening (or happened) that is causing us pain, it’s our wanting things to be different. So, all you really have are a couple of choices. Firs,t you can keep fighting what you can’t change. Or second, you can simply accept the situation and how we view it.

The Takeaway

Life is about acceptance and change. It’s a delicate balance, and we are all trying to learn how to walk the line between the two. However, it is possible. All you need to do is live consciously and purposefully. Take action. And simultaneously accept and change not only for yourself, but for everyone in the world.