5 Signs You Have the Superwoman Type Impostor Syndrome
“I don’t belong here.”
“I feel like an impostor.”
“I don’t deserve my success.”
“They think I’m a fraud. If I speak up or say something, everyone will Know I’m a fraud.”
Anyone can be affected by the impostor syndrome, from students to CEOs. Did you know that women and people of color may be more susceptible to it? I am writing a series about the five types of impostor syndrome. This second article talks about the Superwoman impostor syndrome. I wrote about the Perfectionist type impostor syndrome in a previous article that you can find here.
The superwoman syndrome is when you’re trying to do everything, all at once — and then some. It’s not just that you’re busy; it’s that you feel like you are obligated and have no choice but to take on everything that comes your way. You see yourself as everyone’s savior or superwoman, and if you stop doing everything, then everyone will know you don’t belong.
This sense of urgency can sometimes be helpful — it can spur us to work hard and meet deadlines — but it also means we often fall short of our own expectations. Because we’re always rushing from one thing to another without ever taking time out for ourselves or asking for help from others along the way.
1. You’re always comparing or ranking yourself with other women.
It’s a waste of time to compare yourself with other women. Comparison is dream killer. You can never be everything to everyone. And you also can’t do everything for everyone. So, looking over at what others are doing, and adding extra projects to your already full plate is not the way to success.
You’re trying to be perfect by taking on so many projects and tasks. It’s impossible for anyone to be perfect, and the more you try, the more stressed out you’ll become. As well, you are feeling like you can’t measure up and feel like a failure as you begin to drop projects because it’s so difficult to complete everything you signed up for. You can do yourself a favor by avoiding comparison, by thought stopping/distraction when you feel the need to compete.
In fact, other women are not the enemy — but they may also may not be the people you should pattern your career after. Your unique talent doesn’t need to mimic anyone by taking on so many tasks. You don’t have to be better than other women or even the best at everything, other than being yourself. When you feel triggered to compare, ask yourself why? What was the trigger? Be sure to track the triggers and what they make you feel. All the negative emotions we feel are generated by what we call Saboteurs in the Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness coaching program. You can take a free Saboteur assessment to identify all your saboteurs. This is a great first step to managing the triggers causing negative emotions.
2. You think of work as your best friend.
Work can be a great way to meet new people, and it’s important for your career to have good relationships with your co-workers. But work is not a friend. You can’t confide in it; you can’t hang out after work with it; and you can’t take it home with you. You are not your job title. Your job title is just one part of who you are. It doesn’t have to define who you are as a person.
Spending all your time tied up with some many projects, meetings, activities, and responsibilities at work takes away time for friends and family. You are busy, but not necessarily successful. When you’re working hard, success can seem like it’s just around the corner. If you just take on one more thing, and do it well, then… I finally measure up.
But then you find yourself spending more time at work and getting nowhere. You may feel like you’re not getting anywhere because your job doesn’t allow for much creativity or growth opportunities. Which eventually leads to burnout.
Spending excessive amounts of time at work also takes away from self-care and other sources of happiness in your life. Start scheduling short breaks each day will help you work up to taking longer, restful time to take care of yourself. During the 6-week intense phase, the Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness coaching app is set up to help you do exactly that.
3. You feel guilty when you’re not working or when you want to rest.
It’s important to remember that you’re not a bad person for wanting to work and be the best professional in your job. You just have to set aside time to rest, have fun, and spend time with your family or take a vacation. Your career is one of the most important things in your life and it needs your attention. But just as important, your personal life and relationships need attention too!
If you feel like a fraud for enjoying yourself without working on something “important,” it’s because you have established a limiting belief that if you don’t take on all those projects, then you are not worthy of the job you have. Here again is where it’s helpful to schedule short breaks. If you start small, say 2–3 every few hours, you are more than likely to stick with it.
4. You give in to perfectionism or procrastination.
The Superwoman Type impostor syndrome is prone to perfectionism and procrastination. While it’s great to aim for flawless work, sometimes you can take things too far. Maybe you get so wrapped up in editing that you don’t even bother getting started on your project. Or maybe you think about starting a project over and over again but never actually do anything about it — a sign that maybe there’s something holding your back from moving forward. Procrastination can lead to self-sabotaging and undermining your own ability to succeed.
Someone with the Superwoman impostor syndrome may also have trouble delegating tasks or asking for help when needed because she believes she has to handle everything herself in order to be successful. Or that taking on that huge workload is proving to coworkers and supervisors that she belongs and is not a fraud. This is especially true if she struggles with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, which can make it difficult for her to ask others for assistance. Or admit when she doesn’t know how to complete something on her own (even if asking others would alleviate some stress). She might even feel guilty when she asks someone else for help because she wants everything done herself, which leads us right into our next point.
5. You’re doing it all alone.
The superwoman type is the epitome of a self-starter. She doesn’t need anyone else’s help and can do everything on her own. But here’s the thing: you don’t want to be that person! And doing everything yourself may not even be possible — or desirable — in your life right now. People pleasing is common for someone who feels the need to do everything on their own.
When you need help, and it’s okay to ask for it! In fact, when you accept this truth, you’ll find yourself becoming more comfortable with delegating tasks and letting your direct reports take on responsibilities that allow them to grow and stretch. You’ll also become better at setting boundaries around your time so that other people understand what things they can or cannot do for you (and when).
The superwoman syndrome can set you up for failure and burnout.
You might be the superwoman type if you have trouble saying “no” to people, even when you know it’s not in your best interest. You may also feel like you need to take on every task at work and at home. If this is true for you, then there are ways to overcome the pitfalls of having a superwoman-like mindset.
While it can seem like you are super dedicated when doing everything, it’s important that you learn how to say no when necessary. Asking for help is also important — and not just with menial tasks but with things that will help us achieve more in our lives and careers.
Taking breaks is key when trying to not only avoid burnout but also get ahead at work and home! If possible, schedule blocks of time where no one needs anything from us — even if just an hour a week will do! Then use that time wisely: read something interesting or catch up on sleep by taking a nap (which is better than coffee!).
For many women, the Superwoman impostor syndrome masquerades as a helpful way to stay on top of your game. But is incredibly harmful when taken to extremes. If you find yourself struggling with any of these symptoms, it might be time to take a step back from your busy life and evaluate what’s really going on.
We’re all busy, but if you’re constantly trying to do too much without taking care of yourself first or letting others help out, then you might need to reassess your priorities before the Superwoman impostor syndrome gets out of hand and your job performance drops or you get burned out.
Increasing your mental fitness is a powerful way to step out of people pleasing, spend more time in peak performance, and increase your peace of mind. Learn more about mental fitness coaching here.
Do you have the Superwoman impostor syndrome? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
In the meantime, check out my Youtube video, The Hidden Truth About the Superwoman Imposter Syndrome.
