Dealing with Microaggressions in the Workplace

Microaggressions are small, subtle actions or comments that have a negative impact on a person’s life. They’re often unintentional and can be difficult to recognize for both the perpetrator and the recipient. But microaggressions can affect your mental health, so it’s important to learn about them and how you can identify and discuss them with other people in your workplace!

In this article we’ll take a look at why it’s important to recognize microaggressions. We’ll also provide examples of common ones that happen in the workplace and explain how they affect one’s mental health. In addition, we’ll offer some tips on how to handle these situations with care when they arise.

Microaggressions

Microaggressions are a daily occurrence for many people in the workplace. They add up over time and have a major impact on your mental health. Resulting in anxiety, depression, or even anger. Microaggressions can happen both intentionally or unintentionally, verbally or nonverbally.

If you have ever experienced microaggressions at work, then you know just how stressful, uncomfortable, and frustrating it can be. Getting support when you feel this way is important. Support is especially effective when it comes from someone who understands what you’re going through. Someone who will listen to what happened without judging you or being dismissive and unbelieving of your feelings.

Microaggressions are subtle.

Just because microaggressions are subtle, it doesn’t mean they are harmless. When you experience them at work, it can feel like isolating experience. You may feel like you have to deal with them on your own. You may even internalize them, which can result in increased negative self-talk, self-sabotage, and even imposter syndrome.

They might be based on race, gender, sexual orientation or other factors that make you feel different from others in the workplace. They may seem harmless at first glance but over time they can take their toll on your well-being.

Sometimes people say things that aren’t meant as personal attacks.

Sometimes people say things that aren’t meant as personal attacks but land that way anyway. For example, you might have a colleague who is known for making jokes about race or gender (or other identity-based characteristics) and doesn’t realize (allegedly) how hurtful those comments can be. This can be especially tricky when the person in question is someone you trust and respect — and it’s even more challenging when they’re your boss or supervisor!

If this happens to you, here are some tips for handling the situation:

• Take some time to process what was said before responding. You may need a few minutes after someone has insulted you with words before deciding how best to respond.
• If possible, wait until later in the day so that emotions are not running high right at the moment of confrontation. Otherwise, it may be difficult for you to advocate for yourself. The old me was more apt to cry because I was insulted and angry. And I just found it difficult to speak up when I wasn’t upset. Therefore, no intelligible words flowed from my mouth. So I knew I had to always take a moment and calm down before addressing the issue.
• Always document what was said, time, date, who said it, and who else was present.

Allies be supportive.

Sometimes people don’t realize how their behavior causes others pain or makes them feel uncomfortable. This absolutely doesn’t excuse the bad behavior! It’s important to be aware of how your words or actions might affect other people, and if you don’t know, ask!

Allies, be supportive of those who experience microaggressions. Don’t be complicit by your silence when you observe them. Or, if someone tells you something is offensive, listen to them and don’t dismiss their experience as “overreacting.” Don’t add insult to injury. Remember: They’re the ones experiencing it firsthand — and they don’t need you to explain what is insulting or offensive for them.

Also, note that it’s not our job as people of color to be your permanent “microaggressor corrector” in the workplace (or anywhere else). Once you’ve been told you know. Periodt.

When someone does something harmful or inappropriate, take action, and let them know.

When someone does something harmful or inappropriate, it’s important to let them know it’s offensive. Here are some ways you can do this:

• Don’t use the word “you” when talking about the behavior. Instead of saying “you’re being racist,” say something like “this comment, joke, action, etc., was inappropriate. It was offensive to me.” The new me always added, and “I will not tolerate this type of behavior.” This keeps your words focused on the specific action rather than attacking someone personally.
• Be clear. Be assertive. But don’t argue. The goal is to make your feelings known. Not for the person to agree or disagree with you. Not for you to hear the sob story of how “that’s not how I meant it. You’re taking what I said the wrong way. This person was okay with me saying it”, blah, blah, blah.
• If you’re like the old me, and find it hard to speak up to people, then by all means send an email. The email also serves as your documentation.
• Here’s the thing, if you don’t let people know when they’re being offensive, it could have a major impact if a situation happens and you need to escalate it by reporting it to HR. Often, one of the first questions asked is, did you tell them XYZ was offensive? You want to always be able to say yes. And show receipts, i.e. the date, time, who was there (I talked about this under “Sometimes people say things that aren’t meant as personal attacks”.

If something makes you feel uncomfortable or offended.

It’s also important to remember that if something makes you feel uncomfortable or offended, it may have made someone else feel uncomfortable as well — even if they don’t say anything about it! But if learn to address it appropriately, then we do our share towards make the workplace a safe space.

I hope this article has helped you better understand how microaggressions can impact your mental health, as well as some ways to deal with them in the workplace. It’s important to remember that everyone is different and will react differently to certain situations. What works for one person may not work for another — but knowing there options available if you need them can go along way to preventing increased mental stress in the workplace because of microaggressions.

Twanna Carter, PhD, ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), is a career coach and relationship coach for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. She is a career coach dedicated to empowering Black women leaders, helping them achieve their career goals. With more than 20+ years of experience, Dr. Twanna is recognized as an expert in leadership, personal development, business strategy, career development, and lifestyle balance. Helping professional women navigate change and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful.

Please feel free to comments or questions to twanna@twannacarter.com.