Supplication to a Demon

(This was originally published as “Supplication” in the vampire magazine “Dreams of Decadence,” and later re-published in their “Best of” anthology. Happy Monday! :) )

I am rage.
I am hate.
I am pain.
I am full of agony over this life.
Take me from this hellish normality
Into that sweet, cool, twisted darkness.
I will not regret the violence;
Anything would be better than this banality.

I ride the bus and see endless rows
Of blank eyes and blanker souls.
I go to work on a Monday
To deal with idiots and morons,
To cater to the whims of petty dictators
With no power,
Only the desire to inflict the same nonexistence
They have endured
Onto others.

My heart twists with every passing day
As the bitterness and anger become permanent features of my face
And the darkness within swells and threatens to burst
In a fit of insane screaming and violence.
I have not yet decided whether the target will be
Myself, or others. Perhaps both.
To release my frustration with brutal force
As I bloody my head and fists on a wall
Or my coworkers’ bodies with bullets of hate.

I would rather stalk the star-filled night
Than trudge the sun-bleached streets of day
Silent witness to other people’s tragedies,
Desperation, and defeat.
I would rather live in a world of nightmare
Than suffer a world with no dreams.
To end what torments me,
Rather than meekly shuffle toward my soul’s true death.
I would surely be saner as a madman
Than as a corporate slave.

Let me walk in a world of mystery
Where I alone control my fate,
And that of others.
Give me eternal power
And I will wreak havoc in your name.
Let me be the hunter, not the prey;
The tormentor, not the victim.
Give me the power
So that when I tell them to go to hell,
I can also send them on their way.

Give me strength, that I may destroy
Give me death, that I may live.