Eagles 2023 Game By Game Predictions

With the exception of my annual Eagles column, this is always one of my favorite season eve traditions, where I go through and predict the Eagles season on a week-by-week basis.

This is my seventh year doing this, and because we hold ourselves accountable around here, below is a table of the results from each iteration.

As you can see, a mix of good, bad, and ugly there.

In addition to some serious analysis, we’ll mix in a bit of comedy along the way. Let’s get into 2023.

WIN (1–0)

No one gets more nervous for Eagles Opening Day than me. The desire to be 1–0 is so strong as is the importance of doing so. My anxiety is through the roof, and it will only increase leading up to kickoff, but when I actually study the Patriots and think rationally, the Eagles should win this game without a major issue.

Despite Bill Belichick having four months to prepare, the Eagles start hot as DeVonta Smith gets the scoring going with an opening drive touchdown. The game turns into a bit of a slog in the second quarter before Nakobe Dean takes a pick six to the house inside the two minute warning.

With things mostly in hand, Darius Slay intercepts a Mac Jones heave late in the fourth quarter and fires it in the direction of JuJu Smith-Schuster, leading to a skirmish that results in a 20 minute delay. After the final whistle, Jones tells his former Bama teammate DeVonta that he misses having him as a teammate. “My receivers suck,” Jones says. “

Can someone get me a towel?” asks DeVonta in response. “It’s cold as hell with the rain.” 31–16, good guys. The Eagles are 1–0.

WIN (2–0)

Is time a flat circle? Last year, the Eagles won a gritty opener on the road before hosting the Vikings in primetime for their home opener.

The Birds pretty much dominated that game from opening drive to end as Slay played the game of his life, largely neutralizing Justin Jefferson. I’m not expecting it to be quite as easy this time out. A long Jefferson TD going into halftime puts the Vikings within a field goal as the teams trade punches through the third quarter.

Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown connect on a 50 yard touchdown midway through the fourth quarter to give the Eagles a two-score lead, and a Brandon Graham sack of Kirk Cousins on the ensuring drive closes things out. 30–20. The Eagles are 2–0 with extra time to prep for the Buccaneers.

LOSS (2–1)

No, this is not a typo. There is usually one random Eagles loss, and I’m expecting this to be it. The Eagles historically have not played well in Tampa as it’s been nearly a decade since they won there. While the Bucs are expected to have a down season in the aftermath of Tom Brady, they still have two top notch receivers who could pose issues for some young safeties.

Baker Mayfield is an incredibly flawed quarterback, but a few times a season is capable of playing a random good game. The Eagles get behind early on Monday Night and are never able to catch up in a 27–23 loss. One night later, Aaron Nola gets lit up for seven runs in what was supposed to serve as a final tuneup ahead of Game 2 of the Wildcard Series vs. the Cubs. The Eagles are 2–1, but this combination of things have people unhappy.

WIN (3–1)

Forget anything about a short week here. The Eagles are eager to avenge an upset loss to Tampa and come out firing in a home beatdown of the Commanders. D’Andre Swift becomes a fan favorite with both a rushing and receiving touchdown from Hurts while Nolan Smith notches two sacks of Sam Howell. Following the second Swift touchdown, as opposed to the usual Tom Petty singalong, 60,000 belt out the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s ‘You Belong With Me.’ Personally I’d much prefer ‘Sparks Fly,’ but ‘You Belong With Me’ seems fitting to honor a player from the area who was just traded here.

Marcus Mariota is booed loudly when a pick six late in the fourth quarter ruins the shutout. 37–7. The Eagles are 3–1.

WIN (4–1)

The Rams roster stinks on paper — an absolute shell of the Super Bowl season that we accurately predicted back in 2021 (I had to do it 💁‍♀️).

This should be an easy win, but traveling across the country is never easy, and Matthew Stafford — provided he’s healthy — has typically played extremely well vs. the Eagles.

A close game through halftime begins to open up in the second half as a Jalen Carter strip sack on Stafford (#GeorgiaOnGeorgiaCrime) leads to a Haason Reddick scoop and score. 38–23. The Eagles are 4–1.

WIN (5–1)

A lot of people are chalking this up as a loss. A lot of folks people also have the Jets as a trendy Super Bowl pick. I don’t see either, and it’s nothing against the quarterback.

Aaron Rodgers will turn in a good season. The problem is the coach. Robert Saleh has the ‘Good coordinator, bad head coach’ label written all over him, and that will hold the Jets back from reaching their potential under Rodgers as he’s only able to hide so many flaws.

With the game tied midway through the fourth quarter and the Eagles in a goal to go situation, they insert Boston Scott into the game so he can get his customary touchdown at MetLife Stadium. Following a stop by the defense on the ensuing drive, the Eagles line up in victory formation with a minute to go. Hurts fakes a kneeldown and throws a jump pass to Dallas Goedert to go up by 14. Saleh has words for Nick Sirianni in during a tense postgame handshake. “That’s what you get for trying to decapitate my quarterback last preseason,” responds Sirianni. 41–27. The Eagles are 5–1.

WIN (6–1)

The early portion of the season has brought mixed reviews of Sean Desai’s defense. While they’re doing more than enough to win games, the points allowed are higher than 2022, which have fans an edge when going up against a strong offense.

This narrative is put to rest under the bright Sunday Night lights of The Linc as the Eagles in an homage to their defenses of the early 90s sack Tua seven times while rocking the Kelly Green jerseys for the first time.

What was billed as a high-scoring, competitive shootout turns into a lopsided rout as James Bradberry records a pick six midway through the fourth quarter. The city is on fire as the Phillies prepare to play game 6 of the NLCS the following night. Angelo calls The Morning Show and says he wants to come out of retirement for a week. 38–13. The Eagles are 6–1.

LOSS (6–2)

Like I alluded to earlier, random losses. With more time for its young quarterback to develop, the Commanders come back 28 days later following their beatdown as an improved team.

After a rip roaring start to the season, Hurts plays his first poor game, tossing two interceptions which lead to easy Washington scores. A Hail Mary is batted down as the Eagles four game winning streak comes to an end during a miserable afternoon in the nation’s capitol. 27–20. The Eagles are 6–2 with Dallas Week looming.

WIN (7–2)

Let’s check how our enemies in Texas are doing to set the scene here. I have the Cowboys entering this game at 4–3. It would not shock me if it was 5–2, but they have a tough stretch in October.

Either way, the stakes are high as the Eagles try to lengthen their NFC East lead while the Cowboys try to get back in the race. The disappointing loss at Washington can’t bring down a charged up Linc crowd.

Me and my dude Justin have had our tickets purchased for this game since the summer, and our record is great together. Always seeming to play well against the Cowboys, Goedert scores two touchdowns as Hurts throws for 300 yards and runs for another 100 in an MVP level performance. After the game, in an out of character move, he takes a page out of Bryce Harper’s book and gives OG Wade, his biggest fan, a shoutout. 38–27 Birds roll. The Eagles are 7–2.

LOSS (7–3)

Getting revenge for the controversial Super Bowl ending would be really sweet. Unfortunately I don’t see it happening on a Monday Night in Arrowhead with the Chiefs — like the Eagles — coming off their bye week.

By this time, Travis Kelce should be healthy, and Chris Jones should be back playing for Kansas City. Based on what looks like could be a slow start to the season for them, the Chiefs will likely need this game more than the Eagles and play accordingly.

It isn’t quite on the level of the second half of the Super Bowl, but Pat Mahomes carves up the Eagles defense for four touchdowns. 28–23. It sucks, but there’s worse things than losing to an AFC opponent. The Eagles are 7–3.

WIN (8–3)

I picked the Bills to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl in both 2021 and 2022. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me? I still see them as a playoff team but believe other AFC teams have surpassed them at the top of a stacked conference.

More importantly, I think this is a good matchup for the Eagles defensive line in terms of being able to force Josh Allen into a few key mistakes that make a difference. With the Eagles clinging to a six point lead just under the two minute warning, Reed Blankenship intercepts an Allen shot to the end zone intended for Stefon Diggs.

Famed WIP caller ‘Justin in Tennessee’ who makes the trip to the game is billed as a good luck charm and told he needs to come back for the playoffs. 34–28. The Eagles are 8–3.

WIN (9–3)

More than 10 months of trash talk and complaining comes to roost in an NFC Championship Game rematch. Niners receiver Deebo Samuel takes the field at The Linc to a mocking serenade of ‘WHERE IS ASHLEY?’ in reference to him asking a Niners PR staffer to cut an interview short over the summer that pressed him on comments saying the Niners would have won the game with a healthy quarterback.

With a non-injured Brock Purdy, this game is much more competitive. A Jake Elliott field goal on the final play of regulation ties the score and sends things to overtime — the first overtime game of the Nick Sirianni era.

The Eagles win the toss and embark on a methodical drive down the field. Hurts bowls over middle linebacker Fred Warner for the game-winning touchdown and in a rare showcase of pure emotion launched the ball into a raucous crowd. 26–20. Kyle Shanahan spends his postgame press conference campaigning for the NFL to change regular season overtime rules — No one fucking cares, Kyle. The Eagles are 9–3.

WIN (10–3)

Let’s do another check in on these losers, shall we? Since we last saw them, two things have happened. 1) The Cowboys have improved their record as a really talented defense has begun inflicting pain on opponents. 2) Dak Prescott’s play continues to be uneven with some calling for Trey Lance under the belief that Dak’s turnovers are holding them back.

If I’m being logical here, this should be an Eagles loss. AT&T Stadium has been a house of errors for the Birds over the past half decade, last winning back in the 2017 Super Bowl year.

Things always tend to go awry down there, but there’s one big difference this time around. My boys on the radio are organizing a trip, and the Eagles don’t lose with me in the house. A Sydney Brown interception of Prescott early in the second half has the calls for Lance growing even louder as a ‘WE WANT TREY’ chant can be heard loud and clear with Jerry Jones looking on from his box. The Go Birds ROADys take over enemy territory as the Eagles put the division out of reach. 31–21. The Eagles are 10–3.

LOSS (10–4)

Yeah, I’m sorry folks. This is a stone cold loss. It’s probably not even worth it for me to write a couple paragraphs and elaborate, but the show must go on, so I’ll try.

The Eagles never perform well in Seattle to begin with. Playing there is significantly harder than playing in Dallas, and this will mark the end of a very difficult stretch of games. Some think Seattle’s ceiling is limited with Geno Smith at the helm, but the roster has a ton of talent, and Pete Carroll can flat out coach. You may or may not see them mentioned again later (spoiler alert 👀)

The Seahawks defense makes things tough on an Eagles offense that’s hungry for some home cooking following a second straight long road trip. 27–17. The Eagles are 10–4 but still in prime position for a tough seed in the NFC if they finish strong.

WIN (11–4)

The Giants return to The Linc for the first time since 38–7 — one of the greatest sports nights of my life. I would do a check in on their record, but overall I think they’re a prime candidate to take a step back this season. I will admit this comes with some bias, but outside of Darren Waller, I don’t see major improvements to an offense that needed it.

Brian Daboll appears to be a very good coach, but is that enough to compensate for a quarterback who seems to be exposed when going up against elite defenses?

This isn’t quite the smackdown that the playoff game was, but a festive Christmas crowd is treated to a 28–19 Eagles win that of course includes the pre-scheduled Boston Scott touchdown. The Eagles are 11–4.

WIN (12–4)

I’m gonna preface this one by saying that I was not a Jonathan Gannon hater. It’s hard in the current NFL for a defense to stifle an elite quarterback. Mahomes lighting him up in the Super Bowl is not of major surprise. Gannon’s comments since then, however, are what’s disappointing.

Sirianni won’t say it out loud despite many attempts in press conferences throughout the week, but he wants to embarrass him, and I wouldn’t be shocked if the Eagles try to run up the score if there is an opportunity to do so.

The Cardinals get on the board first with a field goal to go up 3–0. The Eagles score the next 44 points. Following his fourth turnover, an irate Kyler Murray tosses his helmet at an assistant on the sidelines and pulls out a cellphone to call his agent and ask what teams will be in the market for a quaterback in the offseason. 44–3. The Cardinals tank job for Caleb Williams is nearly complete. The Eagles are 12–4.

WIN (13–4)

Should the Eagles already have seeding locked up, this could be a game where starters are rested resulting in a loss. My gut feeling, however, is that the Eagles will need to win in order to lock down the number one seed in the NFC.

With the Giants already eliminated from playoff contention, the Eagles get off to a hot start prior to things turning into a defensive struggle in the second and third quarter.

Kenny Gainwell breaks off a big run to start the fourth and is tackled on the Giants one yard line, ceding the touchdown honor to of course, Boston Scott. Following a somewhat quiet season, Fletcher Cox makes his presence known with a strip sack of Jones. 24–10. The Eagles finish the regular season 13–4 and lock up a first round bye with the number one seed.

WIN (DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS)

The popular consensus going into last year’s playoffs was that the Eagles and Cowboys were destined to meet in the second round. We got the Giants instead.

One year later, we hear the same tired cliches about how it’s hard to beat a three times in one season. Statistics have shown that this is a bullshit cliche that people bring up when they don’t know what else to talk about.

Anticipation for a non-Super Bowl playoff game has never been higher. All week long, national talk shows debate whether or not Dak Prescott is playing for his job.

The Eagles race out to a 14–0 lead behind touchdowns from DeVonta Smith and AJ Brown. Prescott finds CeeDee Lamb in the second quarter for a score to cut things in half and keep Dallas in the game. The Eagles offense begins to take over late in the third quarter, again opening up a double digit lead. Midway through the fourth quarter with the Birds up 10, Micah Parsons lays a late hit on Jalen Hurts after he’s clearly out of bounds.

Jordan Mailata takes exception to it and goes after Parsons, sparking an all-out brawl that the officials have trouble getting under control. After the game, Sirianni takes off a sweatshirt to reveal a ‘Dallas Sucks’ T-shirt and tells Parsons “Go fuck yourself,” leading to another confrontation. 31–17. The Eagles are back in the NFC Championship Game. Dallas fails to reach it for the 28th consecutive season.

WIN (NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME)

When you factor in the projected December loss, the Eagles enter this contest with an 8-game losing streak against Seattle, spanning more than a decade.

Sirianni and Hurts attempt to downplay it in their weekly press conferences, citing — correctly — that they haven’t been a part of most of those games, but several veteran players have, and fans have lived through it all. Needless to say, nerves are high throughout the week.

After a relatively pedestrian year, former Seahawk Rashaad Penny is fired to face his old team, taking an opening drive handoff 50 yards for a score. The Linc literally shakes in excitement, but DK Metcalf quickly quiets things down with a touchdown of his own.

Always an Eagle killer, another Metcalf touchdown late in the fourth quarter ties the score once again. With a minute to go and two timeouts, Hurts begins a drive from his own 25, trying to avoid overtime and win the game. DeVonta makes a toe tap catch along the sidelines to give Jake Elliott a shot from 60 yards out in the cold January air.

It’s so quiet, you can hear a pin drop as he swings his foot towards the ball. The kick makes contact with the crossbar, bounces up in the air, and goes through the uprights. IT’S GOOD! 23–20. The Eagles are going back to the Super Bowl.

Always affable, Seahawks coach Pete Carroll finds Hurts after the game, hugs him, and says “Go get yourself a ring, Kid.”

WIN (SUPER BOWL)

We’re exorcising some major demons here. While it’s not talked about as much as the Seahawks struggles, you have to go back to 2000 to find the last time the Eagles defeated the Bengals (I was there). Cincinnati has won three meetings since then along with two ties 🤯

Nothing compares to this though in terms of magnitude. Let me just take a second to say that if the Eagles do get back to the Super Bowl, they will not lose, and that’s nothing against the Bengals and Joe Burrow who I expect to be an incredible team. The climb back will just naturally be harder than the final summit.

Much like last year, this turns into an offensive shootout. Burrow finds Ja’Marr Chase for a go-ahead touchdown with 90 seconds remaining to go up 31–27.

Unlike like last year, Hurts gets more than one Hail Mary play to counter this time. With 20 seconds to go facing 3rd and goal from the 6, a designed quarterback draw parts the red — or in this case orange — sea.

The Bengals final lateral play goes nowhere. 34–31. THE EAGLES ARE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

Takeaways

The Good: Hurts shows his leap was absolutely for real and firmly entrenches himself in a class with Mahomes and Burrow as the top quarterbacks in the league. Nolan Smith and Jalen Carter both finish Top 5 in Rookie of the Year voting while Nick Sirianni scores a long-term contract extension and wins over any remaining doubters. DeVonta Smith finishes Top 5 in the league in all major receiving categories and is set for a major payday.

The Bad: THERE’S NO BAD, BABY! WE WON THE DAMN SUPER BOWL; LET’S HAVE A PARADE!

On a serious note, it’s always hard to keep Super Bowl teams together. Some beleoved veterans like Kelce and BG likely choose to go out on top. With DeVonta set to cash in big, the Eagles will have to make some tough decisions, one of which could involve how to handle Haason Reddick also expecting a new deal, but that’s a problem for another day. For the second time in seven years, the Eagles are world champions!