Growing Up Ugly

During the past few days, I saw a couple of memes about growing up ugly making rounds in the Internet. These memes detailed how having less than stellar looks forced you into either being ridiculously shy or a loser or…both. It also related the struggles of getting a date, being overlooked by people, and suffering from low self-esteem. I have to admit that I initially found these memes hilarious. I shared these memes with my Finnish friend, laughing over how accurate they were. While the memes were hilarious, they also hit a little too close to home. You see, I felt like I grew up ugly as well.

I wish I had the sufficient amount of self-esteem to tell you that I don’t feel that way anymore but I still do. What even made it worse was that I was born female. And as a woman, a part of my merit will probably always be judged upon my looks.

Picture me as a seven year old girl not getting called cute and wondering why all the other kids were being called that.

Picture a thirteen year old me thinking that a sixteen year old me would be in a loving relationship with a boy. Sixteen came and I never even one single boy told me he had a crush on me.

Why couldn’t I be one of my pretty classmates whose list of suitors can probably fill up a dozen notebooks? Why can’t I be pretty, too? Where is my Mia Thermopolis transformation?

In hindsight, these are very naive, very petty complaints. But who has not sought validation from our physical attributes when we were teenagers? To be attractive seemed like the most wonderful prospect when I was 16.

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