In the name of being a good ally, surely sometimes less is more

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It isn’t a stretch to say that I’m not like other men in at least one major way: While most (all?) dudes want to know how to produce the biggest, ropiest, milkiest, thickest cum loads, I’m trying to figure out the opposite.

How do I know this isn’t the norm? Well, the internet, apart from being a cesspool, is also home to a veritable bukkake of content on how to make your loads bigger. We’ve written about it ourselves, in fact, in response to a recent study on men who experience high levels of relationship anxiety due to the volume…


Welcome to the world of technology-driven hypochondria

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Fuck WebMD.

Hear me out: Have you ever noticed a strange red bump on your skin, or felt a strange pain in your chest, or basically anything that then led you down a WebMD rabbit hole, causing you to believe that your dick was going to fall off while your skeleton disintegrated and your skin melted into goo like that dude from Robocop?

It’s no exaggeration to say that the internet has turned all of us into raging hypochondriacs, interpreting any suspicious body pain or physical ailment as death knocking on our slightly creaking door. And according to a…


According to a psychologist, a boxing coach, a urologist, and a Mars simulation commander

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Most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid mucking up. But unless you’ve never had any dreams or goals or really any sort of ambitions at all, chances are you’ve failed at something at least once in your life. And it’s also just as likely that your “failure” laid the foundation for your subsequent or ultimate success.

By nearly every measure, in fact, failure is a learning experience and a stepping stone toward growth. It’s why NASA astronaut Charles Camarda believes that the tragedy of the Columbia space shuttle — which broke apart above Texas in February 2003…


It depends on how, uh, ‘hands-on’ you’re willing to get

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According to a recent report, the lube business is sliding toward becoming a $25 billion industry by the year 2025. “Industry growth is being driven by a number of factors, including more open conversations about sex, the increasing popularity of sex toys and adult goods and the ease of shopping for these items online,” writes Lynn Comella for Forbes.

All of which is good news for you, purveyor of slippery experiences and all things smooth and silky. Still, no matter how much lube you keep in your emergency lube stash (assuming you have one), there will come a day when…


Sorry, you can’t get out of this one

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It happened. At 11:21 am PST (three minutes later than it was scheduled), you received your first Presidential Alert. Maybe you were waiting around for it all morning. Probably, you were already on your phone. Hopefully you were taking a shit. Either way, when you first heard about the Presidential Alert, you maybe thought it sounded suspiciously similar to a presidential tweet, but for now, it’s not the same thing.

The test, which was conducted by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was a nationwide test of its Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEA). In other words, every American who owns…


Turns out, a little jealousy is actually a good thing. Sometimes…

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As we found out when we asked the MEL staff last year, red flags in relationships run the gamut from ungrammatical texting to being a frequent wearer of boat shoes. In reality, most of us have a range of red flags, running from those that scream red to others that are less stop signals than they are yield signs. But perhaps the most cited common red flag is jealousy.

So let’s say you’re in relationship with the jealous type — someone who sneakily reads your text messages when you leave your phone out, or tells you that you need to…


Cheating is on the rise — and as a former capo in a sophisticated operation, I’m not surprised

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We called ourselves “rats” — a mafia of high school cheaters with various ranks, responsibilities and expertise. Our operation infiltrated every subject, from precalculus and physics to Spanish and statistics.

There was Randie — our insider — a girl who had a learning disability and was therefore allowed to take precalculus exams without any time constraints and before anyone else. Her responsibility was to retrieve the exams in exchange for exams from other classes. …


Learn to laugh at yourself, if you can

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This past week, Donald Trump did what he does best: Deliver untruths. In this particular case, standing before a room full of world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly, he claimed to have had the most successful first two years of any administration in U.S. history — a line he’s delivered on multiple occasions during his rallies to uproarious cheers.

This time however, things went differently: Leaders from around the world laughed at him. And in a moment of, dare I dream, nascent humanity, the president appeared surprisingly humiliated.

While sympathy for this case is in extremely short supply…


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Plants simply aren’t butch enough for men, per a recent study from the University of Southampton in the U.K. According to the press release from the Royal Geographical Society, the study revealed that even men who don’t like meat, experience digestive issues with meat or have been asked to reduce its consumption for other health reasons, struggle to choose the vegetarian or vegan option when in public with other men.

Oddly, this isn’t the first time men have chosen to endure digestive turmoil for the sake of upholding their masculinity. A 2015 study found that while more men reported enjoying…


But it’s not yet a cure

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A new study from the University of Athens suggests that olive oil could be a good remedy for tackling erectile dysfunction — and no, we’re not talking about squirting some on your hand and using it to manually inspire a woody (although that’s totally okay, too).

So is this slippery foodstuff going to be a replacement for Viagra?

According to a report from Medical News Daily, more than 600 men were recruited for the study, which examined how a Mediterranean-style diet could impact sexual health. Along with encouraging greater consumption of fruits, vegetables and nuts, followers of the Mediterranean diet…

Andrew Fiouzi

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