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Andrew Fiouzi
Andrew Fiouzi

3.3K Followers

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Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 10, 2018

Snowflake Diaries: How Do I Shrink My Load?

In the name of being a good ally, surely sometimes less is more — It isn’t a stretch to say that I’m not like other men in at least one major way: While most (all?) dudes want to know how to produce the biggest, ropiest, milkiest, thickest cum loads, I’m trying to figure out the opposite. How do I know this isn’t the norm…

Health

5 min read

Snowflake Diaries: How Do I Shrink My Load?
Snowflake Diaries: How Do I Shrink My Load?
Health

5 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 9, 2018

Wearable Technology Is Going to Make Us Feel Sicker Than We Actually Are

Welcome to the world of technology-driven hypochondria — Fuck WebMD. Hear me out: Have you ever noticed a strange red bump on your skin, or felt a strange pain in your chest, or basically anything that then led you down a WebMD rabbit hole, causing you to believe that your dick was going to fall off while your…

Wearables

3 min read

Wearable Technology Is Going to Make Us Feel Sicker Than We Actually Are
Wearable Technology Is Going to Make Us Feel Sicker Than We Actually Are
Wearables

3 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 9, 2018

How Important Is It to Have Failed at Something in Life?

According to a psychologist, a boxing coach, a urologist, and a Mars simulation commander — Most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid mucking up. But unless you’ve never had any dreams or goals or really any sort of ambitions at all, chances are you’ve failed at something at least once in your life. …

Failure

5 min read

How Important Is It to Have Failed at Something in Life?
How Important Is It to Have Failed at Something in Life?
Failure

5 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 7, 2018

What’s the Best Non-Lube Lube Alternative for Me, an Average Guy Who Just Ran Out of KY?

It depends on how, uh, ‘hands-on’ you’re willing to get — According to a recent report, the lube business is sliding toward becoming a $25 billion industry by the year 2025. …

Health

4 min read

What’s the Best Non-Lube Lube Alternative for Me, an Average Guy Who Just Ran Out of KY?
What’s the Best Non-Lube Lube Alternative for Me, an Average Guy Who Just Ran Out of KY?
Health

4 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 3, 2018

What Does the Presidential Alert System Mean for Me, a Guy Whose Phone Just Buzzed and Who Doesn’t Like the Idea of the Government Texting Me Whenever It Wants?

Sorry, you can’t get out of this one — It happened. At 11:21 am PST (three minutes later than it was scheduled), you received your first Presidential Alert. Maybe you were waiting around for it all morning. Probably, you were already on your phone. Hopefully you were taking a shit. …

Homeland Security

4 min read

What Does the Presidential Alert System Mean for Me, a Guy Whose Phone Just Buzzed and Who Doesn’t…
What Does the Presidential Alert System Mean for Me, a Guy Whose Phone Just Buzzed and Who Doesn’t…
Homeland Security

4 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 2, 2018

How Much of a Red Flag Is Jealousy?

Turns out, a little jealousy is actually a good thing. Sometimes… — As we found out when we asked the MEL staff last year, red flags in relationships run the gamut from ungrammatical texting to being a frequent wearer of boat shoes. In reality, most of us have a range of red flags, running from those that scream red to others that…

Jealousy

7 min read

How Much of a Red Flag Is Jealousy?
How Much of a Red Flag Is Jealousy?
Jealousy

7 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Oct 1, 2018

I Was Part of a High School Cheating Mafia

Cheating is on the rise — and as a former capo in a sophisticated operation, I’m not surprised — We called ourselves “rats” — a mafia of high school cheaters with various ranks, responsibilities and expertise. Our operation infiltrated every subject, from precalculus and physics to Spanish and statistics. There was Randie — our insider — a girl who had a learning disability and was therefore allowed to take…

Schools

7 min read

I Was Part of a High School Cheating Mafia
I Was Part of a High School Cheating Mafia
Schools

7 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Sep 30, 2018

What’s the Best Way to Deal With Public Humiliation For Me, an Average Guy Who Gets Laughed Out of the Room Sometimes?

Learn to laugh at yourself, if you can — This past week, Donald Trump did what he does best: Deliver untruths. In this particular case, standing before a room full of world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly, he claimed to have had the most successful first two years of any administration in U.S. …

Humility

5 min read

What’s the Best Way to Deal With Public Humiliation For Me, an Average Guy Who Gets Laughed Out of…
What’s the Best Way to Deal With Public Humiliation For Me, an Average Guy Who Gets Laughed Out of…
Humility

5 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Sep 27, 2018

Nothing Inspires Men to Eat Their Vegetables Like a Midlife Crisis

Plants simply aren’t butch enough for men, per a recent study from the University of Southampton in the U.K. According to the press release from the Royal Geographical Society, the study revealed that even men who don’t like meat, experience digestive issues with meat or have been asked to reduce…

Food

4 min read

Nothing Inspires Men to Eat Their Vegetables Like a Midlife Crisis
Nothing Inspires Men to Eat Their Vegetables Like a Midlife Crisis
Food

4 min read


Published in MEL Magazine

·Sep 26, 2018

Olive Oil Could Be the Secret to Preventing Erectile Dysfunction

But it’s not yet a cure — A new study from the University of Athens suggests that olive oil could be a good remedy for tackling erectile dysfunction — and no, we’re not talking about squirting some on your hand and using it to manually inspire a woody (although that’s totally okay, too). So is this slippery…

Erectile Dysfunction

4 min read

Olive Oil Could Be the Secret to Preventing Erectile Dysfunction
Olive Oil Could Be the Secret to Preventing Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile Dysfunction

4 min read

Andrew Fiouzi

Andrew Fiouzi

3.3K Followers

Staff Writer, MEL | andrew.fiouzi@melindustries.com

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