Agendas (Or, My Need For Validation)
Start to become aware of agendas, in yourself and others. I’ve found that most of us, most of the time, have some hidden motive when we speak, act, or share something with others. It is usually a want.
Things like wanting validation or approval (more “likes), not wanting to offend (but really wanting to offend the hell out of someone), to “be right”, to wanting a favor or compensation, or even just to be loved and heard.
It’s not wrong to want these things, but it is important that we become aware of our actual needs and ask for them, rather than unconsciously manipulating others. Ask for what you want, rather than judge it.
Often times we’re clueless that we have a dozen hidden agendas in everything we do. It really clutters up the communication, and makes for a distorted, diluted, and dirty chanel.
I’ve recently had some conversations with my friend, and it was amazing to discover how much VALIDATION I was looking for in things. Once “the secret was out”, it was much easier to notice where in life I was doing things to be validated, which then made it easier to see what story, trauma, or belief was at the root of it. The shame disappeared, and I could simply say “oh yeah, I was just looking to be validated, yep!” rather than justify with some inane story.
In ancient magic lure, one of the principles is the power of knowing the “true name”. If you knew the true name of a sprite or demon, you were able to control it. Likewise, when we can accurately identify and speak the truth of the agenda, feeling, or story we’re in, it loses it’s power over us and we regain control.
What agenda or hidden need do you find yourself acting out lately? If you can name it, you’re already on your way to healing it.
