It Could Happen To Anybody: I Tweeted "Fuck Me In The Bird-Ass” From The Corporate Twitter

It was a sunny spring day in 2016. I was having brunch with some friends, one of whom was new to my neighborhood. He insisted we all come over to his new place and check out his awesome roof deck. So, brunch turned to day drinking, which turned to evening drinking, which turned to this:

Embarrassing, I know.

This could happen to anyone.

See, earlier this year, I was hired as the social media coordinator for the local T.G.I. Friday’s in Marlboro, NJ. It’s a fun job and I truly enjoy engaging with the patrons of our little restaurant.

I guess those drinks just got to my head (I’m a little guy — only about 6 ounces!). Here I am, drunk and horny for some hot anal sex inside of my tiny bird-asshole, and I accidentally forgot to switch over from the corporate account I manage to my personal twitter account. Boy, the egg was in my face!

“This could happen to anyone.”

Luckily the folks at T.G.I. Friday’s were very understanding, and even though this was a p.r. nightmare for them (cursing, as T.G.I Friday’s? NOT family friendly. They let me go with a warning if I promised not to let something like this happen again.

This could happen to anyone. And maybe you won’t be as lucky me when you accidentally solicit avian anal sex from your company’s social media account. Well, learn from me and my mistakes before you end up learning from your own!


Use Two Different Apps On Your Phone

Why bother switching from account to account when you can use one app for work and the other to let all of your friends and family know you want bird sex right now?

Separate Your Work From Your Personal By Using Different Devices

When possible, I try to only do work on my laptop. I almost exclusively cruise for hot bird sex on my mobile device, anyways.

Put The Phone Down And Live Your Life

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the digital world that it’s easy to forget about the living world right in front of us. Look up once in a while, or else you’ll miss someone who wants to fuck you in the bird-ass right now.


“Here I am, drunk and horny for some anal sex inside of my tiny bird-asshole, and I accidentally forgot to switch over from the corporate account I manage to my personal twitter account–that’s social media coordinator rule number one!”

There you go! I hope this helps. Remember, this could happen to anyone, so be careful.

“This could happen to anyone.”

Also, I am very horny and I am only expected to live for three years, so please DM me if you like what you see ;)