One Year Ago
A father. Some notes. Some simple truths.
It was Monday, April 15th, 2013. The day of the Boston Marathon bombing.
That alone would have been enough for me to have gone years remembering portions of the day. Already I was going to be able to answer the potential “Where were you on — insert infamous day here,” questions that often follow tragedies like that.
The most important events of life rarely consider your well laid plans, and often arrive unexpectedly.
The day began just like countless other Mondays for me. Wake up, drive to work, and begin work. The entire day was going like most other work days, except maybe a little more hectic than most.
There were no clues that made me think, “I’ll remember this day for the rest of my life.” None. Nada. Zilch. But, then again that’s how most memorable days begin, is it not?
Even when the news broke of the Boston Marathon bombing, I didn’t slow down very much. That was happening in Boston. I was in Texas. I was busy. No time to stop and think about that very much. I skimmed the news on my phone, then hurried up with the rest of the day.
At the end of my work day, I went through the usual routine. My backpack was packed and I was about to walk outside when a I spotted a few people standing in front of the TV. News coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing was on. I stopped for a moment to watch it with them to get caught up on what exactly was going on.
Finally, I was no longer in a hurry. I could stop for a moment.
A few minutes passed. I looked at my phone to see what time it was before I was about to head home and that’s when I saw them. A missed call from my oldest brother. A couple of text messages as well. The call tipped me off that it may not be good news, because we never called each other very much. Most of our communication was done via text.
“Call me ASAP. Dad’s in the hospital.”
Dad had been in and out of multiple hospitals more than I could count over the past eleven years. He had been living in an assisted living facility for eight years. There were many days when we weren’t sure he would hold out much longer, but he always seemed to be able to fight back and overcome. We knew there would come a day when that wouldn’t be the case. In fact, at one point my brother Micah and I prepared his funeral arrangements with a funeral home ahead of time because the doctors had told us they didn’t expect him to live much longer than a year. He did. For seven more years.
This visit to the hospital for dad was different though, and after hearing just how poorly he was doing, I knew the reality we had thought would come long ago, was finally here.
What the next few days held in store for us, I am not sure anyone can ever fully prepare for. Being at someone’s death bed is something I am not sure I could have ever fully comprehended beforehand, and now that I have experienced it, I am not sure I can ever fully explain.
Dad passed away just a few days later on April 21, 2013.
I could tell you all about how great a Christian I believe my father was. How great of a father he was. How much I miss him. How much I wish he were still around, and of course how selfish of me that really is because he was in such poor health in his final years. I could tell sentimental stories, mine personally, and the stories of others we heard over the next few days.
I could, but I won’t. That’s not what this post is all about. If this has any real purpose beyond recalling those few days in April one year ago, it’s these few things that were going through my mind then and have throughout the previous year. These are lesson he taught me, and all of his children, both in word and in deed. They are things I must continue to work on, because I know I’ve failed at times, but I will work to be better as time passes on.
I wrote these down in the days after his funeral for myself, in memory of the lessons he was always teaching. Today, I’ll share them with you in the hopes they’ll encourage you as well.
In no particular order.
Cherish the time you have with your loved ones. Learn to tell them that you love them. No matter how difficult that may be for you to say. Learn to tell them often. Be forgiving. Always. Try to never complain. Never. Be thankful for the people you have in your life that are positive influences, for those that challenge you, and for those that encourage you to grow. That means sometimes their words might not always be pleasant in the moment, but they will be what is best. Admit when you’ve made a mistake. Quickly. God must be first. Always. No matter what. No matter who. Don’t be afraid to stand alone. Sometimes doing what is right means being a little lonely in this world. Encourage others whenever you can. Often. Help others whenever you can. Often. Even when it is difficult, try to remain positive, not so much for yourself, but for the others who may look to your for guidance. Smile more. Smile some more. I’m terrible at smiling, so I’m going to say it again. Smile more. Encourage the young. They’ll remember it when they are older. Be empathetic. Be sympathetic. Avoid envy, jealousy, and bitterness. Continually. Learn patience. Learn to be content with what you have. Be thankful for all of the blessings in your life. Always.
Thank you for reading.
