The Day I Found Myself In The Hospital
The the nurse smiled and turned to follow the doctor out of the room, closing the door behind them. My wife shot me a look of suspicion, “It’s dia-betes! You keep saying dia-beetus!”
I laughed, “I know! It’s funnier to say dia-beetus.” I said it in my best Wilford Brimley voice. I was proud of the fact I was able to keep saying it to the doctor and nurse, all the while maintaining a straight face.
These are the things my wife graciously puts up with while living with me. These are the things that humor me, even in times of uncertainty or unexpected changes. I suspect had she known the scope of my absurdity, she might have rethought that ‘I do’ nearly eight years ago.
This story is focused on a few days in December last year, however it was nearly two months before in October when I stumbled across a post by Wil Wheaton. For reference, he was Gordie in the movie Stand By Me and I recall him being in the television series Star Trek the Next Generation. His post, which is called “7 Things I Did To Reboot My Life,” jumped out at me because as I read how he was feeling before he started focusing on being healthier was similar to how I had been feeling for the past year.
I initially chalked these new feelings, these new aches, and these new pains up to getting older. I even joked on Facebook that one should never turn 37, because it’s all downhill from there. Everyone laughed and told me just wait. Well, those who were older than 37 did anyway.
One particular quote in Wil’s piece jumped out at me. I highlighted it. I bookmarked it. I wrote it down in my Moleskine. I copied it to my Evernote.
This thing that I’m doing? This series of choices I make every day? It isn’t working. I don’t like the way I feel, I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the things I’m doing. Things need to change.
This was exactly how I had been feeling and what I had been thinking for too long. I needed to change. So, the next day I set out to do something about it. Only I didn’t. I put it off. Then the next day, and the next day, and the next day after that remained the same as before. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t eating healthy most days. I wasn’t sleeping. I was doing all the things I shouldn’t be doing and time just kept moving along.
In December I caught a virus that was being passed around at work. I had a fever. I had congestion in my chest. I was coughing. I didn’t have an appetite. I went multiple days without eating a bite, actually. I was getting weaker and I was losing weight fast. I lost ten pounds in seven days to be exact.
I finally gave in and went to the doctor after about six days. After numerous tests to rule out one thing after another, the results of my blood test came back. When I took the call concerning the results, I was driving back home from performing some chest scans. I was so weak that I had been in bed all day and could barely muster the strength to leave the house to get the tests done until the last minute that day. I’m sure they appreciated me walking in minutes before they closed to do some chest scans.
I still remember exactly what the man on the other end of the call said to me with the results of my blood test.
“Mr. Weaver your blood is like molasses. Your blood sugar was 785. You are diabetic and you need to go to the hospital right now.”
Attacking Diabetes — And Other Things That Needed to be Attacked
I have Type 2 diabetes (not diabeetus) and thankfully it is currently very low maintenance as long as I take my medicine, remain active, and watch what I eat of course. I know many others don’t have it that easy.
It’s funny what a couple of days in the hospital did to change my mind. Suddenly it wasn’t so hard to get motivated. I decided that this time I was going to follow through on these changes I had wanted to make for a while. And so far, it’s been much easier than I thought it would be.
I’m using these events and this new reality as an opportunity to make a number of changes that I’ve been wanting to make for some time. I’m staying motivated by tapping into my creative side. I knew if I was going to stick with this, I’d have to make it fun and creative.
I’ve even given this transition in my life a name — Project: Be Better.
For me, this project hasn’t been strictly about physical health. It’s been about getting better in all of those areas in my life that I need to improve on — or that I know I could improve on. It encompasses the spiritual, creative, organizational, and relationship goals I’ve set for myself as well as the necessary physical goals I must have to keep the diabetes under control.
It’s still early, and not without a few hiccups along the way, but so far it’s been a steady success.
- I’ve become more organized. — I’ve started doing a form of Bullet Journaling. Mostly because I can be creative with these lists. They’re not boring and basic anymore and it forces me to stop down and make plans. I was already using the Evernote app for work and other areas, but I’m finding when it comes to day to day personal items, I stay on track better when I go with the old fashioned pen and paper.
- I’ve created a pretty consistent routine. — I rarely ate breakfast before and I was inconsistent when it came to any sort of routine. Now, I wake up earlier just so I can eat breakfast and relax before going to work. I’m also getting more sleep because I force myself to go to bed at a reasonable time. Something I rarely did before.
- I’m reading and studying more. — I actually force myself to read and to study some each day. This is something I was doing intermittently for far too long.
- I’m writing again. — This post is a case in point, but I’ve been working on a few things now for the past couple of months and it’s a great feeling to get back into the swing of writing regularly.
- I’m exercising more. — I don’t work out every day, like I’d want to, but I am working out more often than not and I feel much better for it. It also really helps with controlling my blood sugar. Beyond that, I’m just more active than I had been before the diagnosis and my energy level that had taken a hit is finally back to normal.
- I’m eating healthier. — This has been the area where I’m thankful I haven’t struggled with much. It’s like a switch turned on and now I’m far more likely to eat vegetables than something sweet and it’s not even difficult. I’ve also quit soda. Finally.
- I’ve lost weight. — And I lost it the healthy way. As of this morning my scale says I am only 14 pounds from my high school weight of 175 (somehow). I don’t think it’s broken or lying to me. I would have never thought that was possible a year ago.
Some other random things I’ve done to aid in the transition. I bought a leather satchel (or a murse, as some jokingly like to call it) to carry around my blood sugar tracking paraphernalia, medicine, and a book and my bullet journal/planner. I created a playlist on Spotify to keep me motivated when needed — since I have a hard time doing anything without music in my life.
I realize this is going to be an entire lifestyle change — for the rest of my life — and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Those series of choices I was making every day weren’t working. I didn’t like the way I felt. I didn’t like the way I looked. I didn’t like the things I was doing. Things had to change.
