Through My Eyes: Surviving a School Shooting
I am writing this not to bring back horrible memories, but to simply share what my experience was like on the worst day in history for UNC Charlotte. Writing my thoughts and feelings is something I have been told to practice by my counselors as I continue the process of recovering mentally. If you are not one who can handle graphic details, then consider not reading further. I will be including all details that I can remember to help you step in my shoes for a few moments. Everyone has their own story from this day- and this is mine.
Leading up to April 30, I had considered this month to be one of the best of my entire life. My fraternity (Alpha Tau Omega) kicked off the month by winning Airband and due to Greek Games being cancelled by inclement weather, winning Greek Weekend all together. Along with this, we officially gained our Fraternity Charter on 4/20/2019. This was something we had collectively been working on since August of 2017 so to finally reach this accomplishment was a big deal. With the semester coming to an end, our fraternity had our annual Spring Beach Weekend. We spent the last weekend before LDOC at Oak Island, North Carolina. Upon returning, there would be two more days of regular classes and then Finals would begin. Like every other student at this time, my mind was set on figuring out plans for that summer and getting through finals.
April 30, 2019 was just like every other day until 5:40 PM. Me and my good friend went to the gym and got lunch at Subway together (the thought of that potentially having been my “last meal” still bothers me to this day). My group was set to give a presentation on how medical practices have evolved for our LBST 2213 class that took place at 5:30 PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays that semester. We decided to meet at the library at 4 PM to go over our powerpoint and note cards and make sure we were prepared as we were supposed to be the second group to present. I put my dog, Lilly, in her crate and put my things in my bag to head out. I turned on some classical music to keep her calm until I returned from class. Sadly I did not see her again for about a month. On the way to the library, I walked past one of my friends that I had initially met in middle school and in passing I remember saying “just one more class and then the semester is over.” My group and I reviewed the powerpoint and our note cards for an hour and once we felt prepared for the presentation, we walked out the back entrance of the library and walked up the back entrance of the Kennedy building. We took our seats at the circular table in the back left corner of the classroom and waited for class to begin.
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Our class started at 5:30 PM and the first group’s presentation began at about 5:34 PM. With our group set to present next, I was reviewing my notecards and reading through the power point a few more times just to make sure I was ready. As I took a break from looking down at my note cards I turned around in my seat and in the hallway I saw what looked like a student in all black clothing running towards the bathroom. I didn’t think much of it and proceeded to turn back in the direction I was facing to continue preparing for my presentation. The video presentation that was being presented was still going on and I finally felt relaxed and ready to present my powerpoint with my group.
At 5:40 PM, the back door of the classroom opened and I noticed it was the “student” I saw running towards the bathroom not long ago. Within a split second I realized this was not a student as before I even noticed the handgun he had the shots started firing. My ears began ringing, the flashes from the shots were bright in the dark classroom and all of a sudden it was like being in a warzone. They tell you to run, hide, or fight in these situations but what they forget to mention is that sometimes the body takes over and you freeze in place. Before I could try to think about moving, I noticed the burning sensation in my lower right abdomen. At this moment I realized I had been shot and I even said out loud to my group “I just got shot.” I was in total disbelief of the entire event unfolding and fell to the ground out of my seat because of the pain. The first person I saw on the ground was one of my group mates who was seated to my left. Due to the ringing in my ears and the loud shots continuing to fire, I couldn’t hear very well. I faintly heard the question, “Did you get hit?” I nodded my head and then heard her say “me too.” This was when nightmare set into reality for me and I was unable to do a thing about it because the shot had temporarily immobilized me. After a minute or two of the horrors unfolding, the shots all of a sudden stopped. I was unaware at the time, but I later learned that a student had charged at the shooter. The classroom that was once full of chaos- students running and screaming as the shooting was taking place- was now radio silent. The only people who remained in the room were the two fatally shot students, my group mates who were ducked under the table for cover, myself, and the monster who did all of this. The shooter stood up, walked towards the center of the classroom and did something that still confuses me. He dropped the clip out of the handgun, placed the gun on the floor, and then walked back to where he was in the room and laid down on the floor. When my group realized it was safe for them to escape, they stood up and asked me to come with them. I tried to get up but was unable to move and I told them to leave without me. They were hesitant but realized that was what they needed to do as two of the other living victims were in my group and needed medical attention. For the next five minutes (truly felt like an eternity) it was myself, the two deceased students, and the shooter alone in the classroom.
The first group’s video presentation continued to play in the background of all that was going on until the alert came up on all of the screens in the room. Those three words “Run, Hide, Fight” were displayed all over the classroom, but the damage was already done. The faint sounds of the other students taking their last breaths was all I could hear at this point. I truly didn’t know how injured I was and needed to let someone know what happened. I reached up from the floor onto the table to get my phone. I sent a message to the first person/group I could find which happened to be my fraternity. No one really knew what was going on yet at this time and I didn’t have time to explain. I sent one message that simply said, “I just got shot.” They were in disbelief at the time and my message appeared to have gotten lost in the flurry of confusion. I slid my phone away from me out of frustration and slowly started to feel like this truly might be the end of my life. My mind started racing with all of the greatest memories from my life as I drifted further into shock, bleeding from the bullet wound in my lower abdomen. While this was happening, the shooter kept whispering things to me such as “we all die eventually.” I didn’t respond to him- this was by far the most horrifying experience of my life.
The police arrived shortly after and the first officer came over to where I was. The shooter was closest to him and he asked if he had been shot. He responded by saying no and then admitted to being the shooter. Other officers arrived on the scene while this was taking place and along with them, an ROTC student. The deceased students were being tended to along with myself on the floor of the classroom. The ROTC student took my hand and asked me simple questions such as “What’s your name” to keep me conscious. I remained conscious throughout the entire process and told him and the officers near me where I had been hit. They checked my body to ensure there were no other wounds and put a seal on it to slow the bleeding. After a few minutes they were unable to get an ambulance in the area and needed to get me to a hospital ASAP. Two officers lifted me up, one by my legs and one by my shoulders, and carried me out of the room. As I was lifted into the air and I looked back at the other two students, I knew the scene wasn’t good. I got nauseous from this and threw up on the floor while being carried out. The officers carried me down the front steps of Kennedy and put me in the back of a cop car. The car had one officer driving and one in the back with me allowing me to lean back onto him across the back seat on the way to the hospital. A student also got in the passenger seat to help guide the police off of campus and onto a main road. At this point I just remember hearing the sirens as the police car was rushing me to the closest hospital. I threw up again, this time on the officer in the back row with me. When we arrived at the hospital they were ready for me and went to work almost instantly.
I was picked up out of the car and placed onto a stretcher. They wheeled me into the first open room and a room full of medical professionals instantly went to work. I was given an IV, was asked many questions including my pain level (yes the answer was a 10/10) and I was given new seals in the same areas that the police had initially placed them. Almost instantly after the IV was in, the pain medicine started to flow and I was temporarily relieved of the physical pain. One of the nurses asked for a phone number of a loved one they could contact to explain what happened. Shortly after, she came back in with the phone in hand and asked if I wanted to speak with my mom. I took the phone and the first thing I said was, “Hi Mom, I got shot in the back.” My mom is a Nurse Practitioner so her first question was “Can you move your legs?” I wiggled them a little bit on the stretcher and told her that I could. After that I told her I loved her and that was the last I heard from anyone I knew until early the following morning. One of the nurses told me I was going to be transferred to the main hospital campus in Uptown and go into emergency surgery. My stretcher was wheeled off and lifted up into an ambulance where there was a paramedic in the back with me. He made sure I was stable and awake throughout the ambulance ride to the hospital and asked me some of the similar basic questions I was being asked earlier such as “What is your major?”. The ride did not last long and soon we arrived at the main campus for the hospital.
My stretcher was taken out of the ambulance and I was wheeled to the operating room upon arrival. They pulled my stretcher up next to the operating table and asked me to shimmy over onto it. I looked around the room full of doctors preparing for my surgery. As they were lowering down the mask to put me under anesthesia, I asked the surgeon to promise me it would put me to sleep so that I wouldn’t feel anything. She told me to count back from 100 and before I could reach 96, my night had ended. This would be my first ever surgery and it evidently was one that saved my life. I had to have my intestinal tract rearranged as I lost 30% of my large intestine and approximately 20% of my small intestine due to the bullet wound. The surgery lasted over six hours and by the time I woke up to the sight of all my loved ones in my hospital room with me, it was the early morning hours of May 1, 2019. My life had been changed forever. In some ways for worse, in many ways for better. The road to recovery was officially underway.