Star Wars VII: Questions, Predictions, Hopes, Fears
Caveat: I have only seen the trailer twice, so if something is already glimpsed in the trailer that I put as a bold prediction, it’s not me being clever, it’s me being ignorant.
- We see a Gungan. As much as I would love not to, something tells me this kind of nod to the prequels would occur, for almost no other reason than continuity. It won’t be Jar-Jar, for SURE. But just like a gaggle of Gungans (“gaggle” is right, I think) in the background of a shot.
- Han Solo Dies. I know, I know. I don’t think it should happen. But I do think it will. I know there are some young protagonists that are coming up and becoming heroes and making hard choices and learning lessons, and my theory is that Han will be that seasoned voice of sage wisdom (with some snark and cynicism because of course) that guides a protagonist through much of the movie, then at a key point will make a sacrifice (possibly involving the kamikaze-ing of the Millennium Falcon to destroy a boss and save the heroes.) that will make everyone cry and cheer all at once. Bonus theory involves a female saying over intercom from somewhere safe that she loves Han, and Han’s last words being, of course, “I know.”
- C3PO returns. This may already be in the trailer, but I don’t remember seeing him. I’m writing this whole post extemporaneously so I don’t have the time to open a new tab and fin out for sure. But man, that would be awesome. Also, in addition, because this is the future and all, it would be cool to see he and R2D2 get some upgrades, ya know, because, technology and stuff.
- We see a Slusho somewhere. I love JJ Abrams and his connections between the things he makes. From Cloverfield and LOST and Alias, he threads these little almost invisible easter eggs that tie together these completely alternate universes for these movies and shows and subsequently triggers infinite numbers of geeky theories about how they are all connected somehow. It’s possible I re-watch LOST after seeing VII and just log all the possible ways Star Wars could be an explanation for the phenomena. Know who else has four toes? Yoda.#mindblown
I have a lot of questions. It seems to me that there is a stormtrooper that despite likely being a clone of some kind, instead of being brainwashed/raised/trained a certain way, feels a very strong moral/spiritual impulse to sway from that and question a lot of things about his way of life and purpose and being and such, to a degree that he rebels (see what I did there) against his whole life training to be a good guy.
- How did this happen?
- Was he abducted by a Jedi or something?
- Does Yoda appear in a dream?
- Does he have a falling out with the Empire and/or witness some Sith stuff that snaps him out of is blind loyalty?
Beyond that, will he use his split identity as a trojan horse sort of story to win a battle or rescue someone? I guess that’s almost a prediction. But it would be really cool.
- I heard Mark Hamill’s in it. Does he play an older, jaded Luke?
He is possibly even a Sith now, because he did strike down the emperor at the end, so according to Palpatine, his journey to the Dark Sideis complete. Would be cool to find out he ended up too selfish and untrained to stay on the light side of the Force. (Someone mentioned this to me but I don’t remember who. If it’s you, let me know!)
- Will the story be too bogged down with a romantic plotline?
I just watched the end of the Hunger Games films so this is currently on my mind as a real concern. Especially if a love story takes center stage with characters we’ve just met, oh man. That’d be the worst. If you wanted a teen love drama with a little adventure on the sides, stick to Twilight, Hunger Games, or probably the Divergent Series (though I don’t know for sure).
Hopes and Fears
I hope it rescues the Star Wars series from the prequels. Yes, the prequels are terrible. No, it’s not subjective. If you feel the need to watch them, I must exhort you to limit yourself to this one 2 hour supercut that at least focuses on the parts of the prequels that sucked the least.
I do have fears aplenty. Both in Return of the Jedi and the Prequels, There are entire species added just to sell toys and make 4 year olds interested. Ewoks and Gungans. Don’t hate me, original trilogy fans, I’m with you completely, and yes Ewoks are WAY better, no comparison at all, but they weren’t the species described in the original Revenge of the Jedi story at all; they were converted to cute cuddly, merchandise-ripe teddy bears. I have a big fear that this same thing happens in this new movie. Maybe, fingers crossed, the closest thing that we get to that is the new spherical droid that seems equal parts Wall*e and R2. That would be fantastic.
I fear that Hayden Christensen makes an appearance of any kind.
My larger fear that a tall guy dressed as Chewbacca (or a girl with a huge Amidala style headdress on) sits right in front of me in the theater.
FEARS ASIDE, I AM SO STINKIN EXCITED TO SEE THIS FILM.
I can’t WAIT to stand up, raise my arms and do THIS during the movie when it starts being awesome: