Sister Mary’s Calling

A 15 Minute Story

At 82, Sister Mary had found her true calling. For the past three weeks, she had been the most notorious car thief the town had ever seen, with a couple of high end BMWs, a Mercedes, two Porsches and a Volvo under her belt. The thing was, she just didn’t fit the profile of a thief, and she was far too clever for the obvious bait cars that the police kept leaving everywhere for her to steal so she was as free as a bird.

She was having fun too. Her previous experience driving the hospital minibus had given her a thirst for the open road that that 1982 banger just hadn’t been able to quench. A quick trip around the internet and the acquisition of the various required tools on the pretence of “toilet maintenance”, however, had given her everything she needed to get started in the car theft business.

And a business it very much was. She had had a lot of trouble finding a fence who would take her seriously as a car thief, but once she’d beaten a few of his hoodlums down to size with an umbrella she had gained the respect of “Big Don”; the #1 “used” car salesman in the whole of the county. The free Porsche she had given him as a sweetener hadn’t hurt either.

Now she was turning over two, three hundred thousand a week and she had the prospect of plenty more if she could keep up the pace. Her arthritis slowed her down, but not by much since she could apply copious amounts of Deep Heat to keep her joints warm before a job, and Sister Agnes had given her a lovely pair of fingerless gloves that helped with the cold as well.

Not that any of the nuns at the convent knew that it was Mary that was responsible for the big cash “donations” they had been receiving. Big Don had filtered it through so many fake accounts and subsidiary corporations that it had already helped to get clean water to two hundred starving Africans before it filtered its way into the convent and then went back out again to help those starving Africans a bit more.

She had her qualms but at the end of the day it was worth it, and Mary was sure that God would understand. Lovely God.