He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Why Russia is Not Santa Claus

A loosely veiled excuse to post some funny tweets

I had a talk with a friend earlier this week about a certain media-fueled Republican candidate that has taken virtually all news outlets by storm. She suggested, quite astutely, that if we starve said candidate of his attention, he will cease to exist, dissipating into the atmosphere like the ball of hot air that he is. 
While I cannot help but agree, it’s difficult to overlook the fact that the candidate is extremely entertaining, so I’ve chosen to go ahead with this article, and to simply not name names. Much like a goofier, yet somehow more frightening Voldemort, I will refer to him as “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”. Really, I could be referring to any Republican candidate that just “accidentally” confused Russia (a very large land mass) with santa claus (a fat man with an army of unpaid elven “employees”).

In case you, gentle reader, are prone to similar mistakes, here’s a handy guide:

Now, while He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s comment (“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing”) was just yet another signature publicity-stunt-attack-speech hybrid, it has yielded some hilarious twitter material from some very funny individuals that I simply had to share. Apparently, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is not the only one that has a wish list for Russia this season, now that it’s become apparent that the country may be delivering espionage-related goodies to all the loudmouthed boys and girls.

There are many more, but I think you get the idea. I suppose I’ll wrap this up with a request of my own. Russia, if you’re listening, please don’t tell anybody how much time I spend on twitter. Also, I’d super like a bike. Thanks.