When Your Ex-Therapist Dumps You

I had a spiritual leader, confidant, therapist, and mentor who I put up on the pedestal. Unfortunately, she was a deterrent to my expansion of myself. When this person terminated the relationship, I was devastated. Seven months later, I can honestly say it was the best thing for me.

When someone terminates you, you do not have the opportunity for closure on your terms. It can feel like your heart got hit by a volcano. I personally feel there should be a transition period and not just given three references; than go fend for yourself after five years. But I was not given the opportunity because they reacted from fear instead of love.

In the end, I realized my needs simply no longer matched what the therapist could offer. I truly thought there was something wrong or deficient within me for that relationship to stop working.

I found out people do the best they can. And sometimes, it simply isn’t enough. It was a difficult lesson for me. But in the end, it just did not work anymore.

We sometimes cling onto things we are familiar with instead of realizing that it does not serve us. I wish that it was done with the intention to honor the relationship. But sometimes things need to occur so you don’t ever go backwards. And honestly sometimes people become unworthy to be in your world.

The universe provided that opportunity for me. The saddest part for me is that person does not get to see the person I am today. When I was with this person, I was struggling in every aspect of my life.

Now I just came back from presenting my work at a world wide conference, I am starting to thrive. My finances are becoming abundant. I am trying to have a relationship with my family. I am solid in the fact that I am non-binary, and I have tribe to fall back on. My networks have been extended. I no longer have one person to manage my mental health. It feels better to know I am safe within my skin and I don’t have to analyze every milk and cranny of my past.

I can actually move forward with grace and ease.

It does hurt at times because that person didn’t own their part and made me problematic. One of the Deans said to me, “Juls 100% of it is yours and 100% is the other person’s. And not everyone has the emotional intelligence to understand their part nor are they are willing to own their part.”

What I can see now is that sometimes one person leads and another has to cut in and take the lead. I am so grateful for my tribe and the people who can go within, own their part and can view what you do rather than what you don’t. Thank you for letting me share.