After Zoom-Box Intimacy, 12 Ways to Relate to Colleagues IRL.

By Melanie A. Katzman, Ph.D.

During lockdown, many of us turned to work to fill the social void. We spent more time Zooming with our colleagues than we could spend hanging out with friends or family members. We Zoomed into our coworkers’ homes and into each other’s eyes — our faces closer than if we had been in the same room. Our professional and personal personas merged. Although we were working remotely, greater intimacy developed between colleagues.

As a corporate consultant and clinical psychologist, I have spent the last year conducting webinars, advising companies, and coaching individuals on how to stay socially connected while physically distant, offering ways to cope with the pandemic and maintain productivity. As organizations prepare to reopen their offices, people in my practice are wondering, “Having given our all to work, what will our employers give back to us?” “Back at the office, once we see each other in person and in full length, will our colleagues (continue to) appreciate the demands of our full lives?

In the safety of our sessions, where my clients have the chance to articulate their worries freely, viral contagions take a back seat to psychological hunger for recognition and reassurance. I hear questions like:

“Will I be recognized for the extra work I did when colleagues were let go, or off sick?”

“Will delayed promotions be realized this year?”

“My boss quarantined from their beach house and is now driving to work and sitting in a corner office. Do they appreciate the stress I have been under to school my kids from home, care for my elderly parents, and still deliver at work?”

“Do they understand what it will be like to take public transportation for hours wearing a mask, and then sit in a cubicle all day still wearing a mask?”

Anticipating what it will be like stepping out of the virtual space and into shared physical space, my clients are asking if they will be seen. Will their efforts be acknowledged and will their anxieties about return-to-office workloads be heard? Will the disparity of experience be addressed? I believe this is a critical moment — if we get it right — to keep workers physically healthy, explore new ways of working, and give voice to the often-stifled psychological needs that can undermine success.

TAKE ACTION

As people return to the workplace:

1. At first, bring employees back to gather in small, appropriately distanced groups to socialize and possibly attend an educational seminar, rather than WORK. This will break the ice and soften the initial awkwardness.

2. If you’ll be dividing employees into shifts, initiate a schedule of rotating interactions so that everyone can get to know each other again.

3. Create fun rituals to welcome people hired during lockdown.

4. Pay respect to those who were lost to the pandemic — coworkers, relatives, and friends. Note the losses experienced across the globe: lives, jobs, opportunity. Also recognize the losses experienced on a worldwide level.

5. Respond to the grief around lost rituals. Set up means to honor people who were promoted or retired during the pandemic.

6. Hold mandatory seminars on mental health that provide clear information on how to access care if needed. Normalize the anxiety and sadness many have or are experiencing. If possible, encourage your organization’s leaders and influencers to model sharing some of their challenges.

7. Review roles and responsibilities with the group as many have been doing more “with less,” and the return to the office may allow, or even suggest, a new distribution of work.

8. Make sure everyone gets a welcome note at their desk, locker, or workstation. Where possible, include a specific thank you for sacrifices made during the pandemic. Recognize how agile and creative your returning team members have been over the past year.

9. Put name tags on offices and cubes. It’s easy to forget after such a long hiatus, and hearing one’s name creates a greater sense of belonging.

10. Make a point of making eye contact, calling people by name, and saying hello as you pass one another in the hall. When you smile, even if you are wearing a mask, your eyes will show it.

11. Encourage senior employees, particularly those with private offices, to walk around and show their presence (yes, you’re exhausted, and, perhaps, less confident now, so it takes real effort — but it’s important). During the pandemic, many staff members enjoyed access to leaders who could Zoom into their living room or invite them more easily on a business trip. It will be important to maintain that engagement to insure continued motivation.

12. Anticipate a range of emotions; someone can seem fine one day and be struggling the next. Initiate a weekly check-in be sure everyone gets a couple of minutes to say how they’re settling back into the flow of office life. Ask each other what you can do to help them shine.