Scarcity Mindset

How to shift into abundance

Dr. Kimberly Stearns
3 min readSep 18, 2019

Scarcity is the feeling that something is in short supply. That there just isn’t enough to go around.

When you are in a scarcity mindset about your love life, you may feel like all the good ones are taken.

That you will never find your soulmate. You might sink into a state of hopelessness. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. But feeling this way isn’t going to help you find your soulmate.

Most people have at least one of those friends, the negative Nancy who always complains. When they talk, it is like listening to a litany of hard-luck stories and small daily tragedies. When you leave the encounter, you feel energetically drained. You may love and care about this person, but it is also likely that you feel sorry for them.

Pity and attraction rarely go hand in hand.

Telling yourself and everyone around you how lonely you are and how you can never find the right person can easily turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who wants to be with a sad, lonely person? Hopelessness and negativity aren’t attractive to anyone. You aren’t going to find your soulmate when you are emanating that kind of negative energy.

Shift Into Abundance

This is why it is so important to shift your scarcity mindset to a mindset of abundance. The good thing is that this is easy to do. When you catch yourself having these kinds of thoughts, stop and think about all the positive relationships you already have in your life. These can be with family members, close friends, or colleagues, and mentors. You can even think about the relationships in novels or movies that you admire most. Visualize these relationships and let the warmth and good feelings they inspire flow through you.

Savor and enjoy how each of these relationships makes you feel. Focus on centering yourself in those feelings and carry them around with you throughout the day.

Each time you encounter someone you have a positive relationship with, stop to appreciate them and all the good they bring into your life. Smile at them and say something positive. If someone holds a door open for you or helps you in some way, thank them and let them know they are appreciated. By doing this you not only improve your own mood and mindset you will also probably improve their mood too.

This is how it feels to shift into abundance.

There is more than enough love and happiness to go around.

When you feel positive, happy, hopeful, and full of love for everyone you care about, others can feel it too. They smile back. They return the compliment. They tell you that they appreciate you too. Happiness is contagious and easy to spread around. It makes other people want to be around you because being in your presence makes them feel good.

Is there anything more attractive than that?

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Dr. Kimberly Stearns

Dr. Kimberly Stearns, certified matchmaker, a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology author of forthcoming book “Never Be Lonely Again” https://kimberlystearns.com/update