How to network in college without losing your soul
For college students & the folx who love them.
When most people think about networking, they envision those awkward moments you have at a fancy event. They tend to involve figuring out how to balance eating passing hors d’oeuvres with shaking hands, determining which fork to eat dinner with, and engaging in what can feel like pointless chit-chat.
For me, I think about my paternal grandmother. Growing up, her apartment in the middle of the Academy Homes projects in Roxbury was the spot. My dad, aunt, and uncles would plead with her to lock her doors, but she always made sure her home was open (literally)and felt welcoming. Even at work, as a housekeeper at a local hospital, her coworkers would tell stories about how everyone throughout the hospital loved her. To me, she was the perfect networker. She had cultivated an entire community of support where she helped others and was helped in return.
In my early roles, my job was to assist at-promise students as they pursued a postsecondary degree. These at-promise youth were often, though not exclusively, students of color from working-class families who would be the first in their family to pursue a college degree. I assisted them in creating well-rounded lists of options to apply to, and then after they enrolled, I would visit them on campus, text them, email them, call them, and message them to provide any support they needed to earn their college degree.
For more than five years, I worked alongside mostly students of color as they navigated majority white college campuses across the state of Massachusetts. Throughout this time, I witnessed my fair share of outstanding tuition bills, racist faculty members, and microaggressive peers who made college completion that much more difficult. As bad as it could be, nothing could surpass the joy I felt (and still feel to this day) when a student I used to mentor crossed that stage and held their degree for the world to see.
I used to think graduation was the goal, but then so many students would reach out asking for help with finding a job. In fact, many students kept the same part-time role they had prior to college like working in retail or security, valeting cars, or doing secretarial work. It became clear to me then that a degree alone does not provide opportunity and financial stability.
We know all of the research about differences in the social capital of privileged vs. excluded groups.
We know how much nepotism informs who gets which jobs.
But what should students do despite these unfair & unjust structures?
Based on these experiences, I was inspired to study how networking happens, especially for Black college students attending a historically white university.
From them, as well as my former students throughout my advising career, I have learned how students today are reimagining what networking means to them and choosing how they want to engage in the process.
Here are the lessons they taught me:
One. Reassess what you want your relationship with “networking” to be.
When I asked participants about networking, they used words like “gross” and “fake” to describe it. They each had to redefine the term to make it make sense for them. Instead, they decided to reenvision it as genuine relationship building through reciprocal friendships and connections.
Two. Use class time as networking time, too.
Peer and small group work provide natural opportunities for connections with classmates. Stay connected even after the course is done, whether it be personally by exchanging numbers or through social media. Find ways to also connect with and remain connected to faculty in whatever ways you both feel comfortable after the course is done (e.g., attend office hours with a few questions in mind, grab a coffee to learn more about their path, etc.).
Three. Create/join a small, connected community either on or off campus where you can just be yourself.
In my study, these places were often affinity spaces on campus, like a group for Black men or women and cultural centers. Off-campus, some participants were active members of local organizations, like political campaigns or a community theatre collective. Have at least one of these community spaces related to your major and/or the future profession you want to pursue (e.g., student organizations, professional societies, etc.).
Four. Don’t just connect. You have to nurture the connection, too.
Exchanging contact info or social media handles is not enough. Our most precious assets are time & energy. Reach out. Update them on your life and get their updates in return. Share space. Share meals.
Five. Remember that power matters.
Most interactions involve a power dynamic. Power intersects with race / class / gender / etc. Traditionally, “code-switching” has often meant that students of color feel an unspoken need to “act white” in certain spaces. This pressure is real.
My participants were often navigating how much of themselves they could bring into uncomfortable spaces. It helped when they had mentors who advised them while navigating these interactions, as those mentors often had to do the same in their circles.
At the same time, spaces are changing because the next generation is demanding it, as shown by elements of “the great resignation.” It is okay to make adjustments depending on where you are, and it is also okay to opt out.
Build community. Nurture that community. And, do what feels right for you.
