NASA Ephemeris Analysis Reveals Chilling Hidden Message

As a software engineer, I often amuse myself during my limited “downtime” with munging data into different formats. I went down a rabbit hole with some Ephemeris data from NASA for P/1996 R2 (Lagerkvist), the orbital elements of which are as follows:

P/1996 R2 (Lagerkvist)
Epoch 2015 June 27.0 TT = JDT 2457200.5
T 2019 Feb. 13.5315 TT                                  MPC
q   2.598771             (2000.0)            P               Q
n   0.1343523      Peri.  333.2357      +0.9728933      -0.2294027
a   3.775483       Node    40.0610      +0.2194706      +0.8761230
e   0.311672       Incl.    2.6010      +0.0728787      +0.4240082
P   7.34
From 125 observations 1996 Aug. 12-1997 Jan. 12, mean residual 0".6.

The Ephemeris data for the end of May 2015 and into June 2015 shows fairly standard positioning:

Date    TT    R. A. (2000) Decl.     Delta      r    Elong.  Phase   m1    m2
2015 05 28    12 07 02.0 +00 43 37   4.4353  4.9516   115.1    10.7  21.7
2015 05 29    12 06 58.6 +00 43 29   4.4495  4.9517   114.2    10.8  21.7
2015 05 30    12 06 56.0 +00 43 16   4.4638  4.9517   113.2    10.8  21.7
2015 05 31    12 06 54.2 +00 42 58   4.4783  4.9518   112.2    10.9  21.7
2015 06 01    12 06 53.1 +00 42 35   4.4928  4.9518   111.3    11.0  21.7
2015 06 02    12 06 52.7 +00 42 08   4.5074  4.9519   110.3    11.1  21.7
2015 06 03    12 06 53.1 +00 41 35   4.5221  4.9519   109.4    11.1  21.7
2015 06 04    12 06 54.2 +00 40 58   4.5369  4.9520   108.4    11.2  21.7
2015 06 05    12 06 56.1 +00 40 17   4.5517  4.9520   107.5    11.3  21.7
2015 06 06    12 06 58.7 +00 39 30   4.5667  4.9520   106.5    11.3  21.7
2015 06 07    12 07 02.0 +00 38 39   4.5817  4.9521   105.6    11.4  21.8
2015 06 08    12 07 06.1 +00 37 44   4.5968  4.9521   104.7    11.4  21.8
2015 06 09    12 07 10.8 +00 36 44   4.6119  4.9521   103.7    11.5  21.8
2015 06 10    12 07 16.3 +00 35 39   4.6271  4.9521   102.8    11.5  21.8
2015 06 11    12 07 22.5 +00 34 30   4.6423  4.9522   101.9    11.6  21.8
2015 06 12    12 07 29.4 +00 33 16   4.6576  4.9522   101.0    11.6  21.8
2015 06 13    12 07 37.1 +00 31 58   4.6730  4.9522   100.0    11.6  21.8
2015 06 14    12 07 45.4 +00 30 35   4.6884  4.9522    99.1    11.7  21.8
2015 06 15    12 07 54.4 +00 29 08   4.7038  4.9522    98.2    11.7  21.8
2015 06 16    12 08 04.2 +00 27 37   4.7193  4.9522    97.3    11.7  21.8
2015 06 17    12 08 14.6 +00 26 01   4.7348  4.9522    96.4    11.8  21.8
2015 06 18    12 08 25.7 +00 24 21   4.7503  4.9522    95.5    11.8  21.8

However, beginning on the 19th of June, we see a startling deviation from expected the path, as shown here:

2015 06 19    12 08 37.5 +00 22 36   4.7658  4.9522    94.6    11.8  21.8
2015 06 20    12 08 49.9 +00 20 48   4.7814  4.9521    93.7    11.8  21.8
2015 06 21    12 09 03.1 +00 18 55   4.7969  4.9521    92.8    11.8  21.9
2015 06 22    12 09 16.8 +00 16 58   4.8125  4.9521    91.9    11.8  21.9
2015 06 23    12 09 31.3 +00 14 57   4.8281  4.9521    91.0    11.8  21.9
2015 06 24    12 09 46.4 +00 12 52   4.8436  4.9520    90.2    11.8  21.9
2015 06 25    12 10 02.1 +00 10 43   4.8592  4.9520    89.3    11.8  21.9

And then from June 26th to July 11th, we see what can only be described as a deliberate attempt at communication:

2015 06 26    12 10 18.5 +00 08 30   4.8748  4.9520    88.4    11.8  21.9
2015 06 27    12 10 35.5 +00 06 13   4.8903  4.9519    87.5    11.8  21.9
2015 06 28    12 10 53.1 +00 03 52   4.9059  4.9519    86.7    11.8  21.9
2015 06 29    12 11 11.3 +00 01 28   4.9214  4.9518    85.8    11.8  21.9
2015 06 30    12 11 30.1 -00 01 00   4.9369  4.9518    84.9    11.8  21.9
2015 07 01    12 11 49.6 -00 03 32   4.9523  4.9517    84.1    11.8  21.9
2015 07 02    12 12 09.6 -00 06 08   4.9678  4.9516    83.2    11.8  21.9
2015 07 03    12 12 30.2 -00 08 47   4.9832  4.9516    82.4    11.7  21.9
2015 07 04    12 12 51.4 -00 11 30   4.9985  4.9515    81.5    11.7  21.9
2015 07 05    12 13 13.2 -00 14 16   5.0139  4.9514    80.7    11.7  21.9
2015 07 06    12 13 35.5 -00 17 06   5.0292  4.9513    79.8    11.7  22.0
2015 07 07    12 13 58.4 -00 20 00   5.0444  4.9513    79.0    11.6  22.0
2015 07 08    12 14 21.8 -00 22 56   5.0596  4.9512    78.1    11.6  22.0
2015 07 09    12 14 45.8 -00 25 57   5.0748  4.9511    77.3    11.6  22.0
2015 07 10    12 15 10.4 -00 29 00   5.0898  4.9510    76.4    11.5  22.0
2015 07 11    12 15 35.5 -00 32 07   5.1049  4.9509    75.6    11.5  22.0

The interpolation of these data would be nearly impossible by human computational means, so we turn to Google Compute Engine for some help.

Deploying kdb+ on GCP

The results were nothing short of chilling. Translating the first few words raised the hairs on the back of my neck:

DEAR HUMANITY WE HOPE THIS MESSAGE FINDS YOU IN GOOD HEALTH AND SPIRITS

But I wasn’t prepared for what followed:

WE ARE COMMUNICATING BECAUSE WE HAVE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY ...