Yamraj, a Hindu death god and a CEO of Hell, got up early the other day, despite late-night working hours. Sanjana, his mother, was surprised.
“What’s up, Yam. Why so early today?”
“There is an urgent meeting of all global death gods,” said he, getting his mace and noose ready.
“Why so urgent?”
“Have you seen the kind of population explosion of late on earth? They all are busy producing kids as if there is no tomorrow!
If the population keeps rising in the same vein, what will happen to the resources available on the earth?”
“So, what are you going to do? Kill people!”
“Oh! Mom, we are meeting to strategize the plan. I will explain everything in detail later on. I am in a hurry now.”
He mounted his buffalo and was on his way to the meeting point.
Some of the death gods were already there.
He saw Pluto sitting in the corner. Pluto, a Roman death god, son of the Sun and Ops, generally kept a low profile.
The other corner filled the presence of Hades, a Greek death god.
Some people believed that Pluto’s earlier name was Hades.
Hades abducted the daughter of Zeus and Dimeter, Persephone.
As the name Hades is fear-provoking, he preferred to call himself Plouton.
As Pluto and Hades have different characteristics, we will consider them two gods.
Then there was Shinigami, the Japanese god of death; Apophis, the Egyptian death god, and Hel, the Norse death god.
There was no hierarchy, and hence nobody wanted to take an initiative.
Finally, Yamraj decided to break the ice.
“I welcome everyone who is here today. We have been advised by our peers to look into the serious issue of continually increasing world population.
We had sent only Adam and Eve to start life on the earth. Now, in such a short time they have grown to almost 8 billion’’
“And, how much does that exactly mean?” said Hades. He was not well versed with the latest terminology.
“You can say there are nine zeroes on 8.”
“Oh! That’s ridiculous. Don’t they do anything else other than producing babies?”
“They do a lot many things. But there are other contributing factors too. Like-
1) They have increased the life expectancy from 30 years in 1800 to a whopping 70 years in 2021.
2) Medical fraternity was wreaking havoc by reducing infant mortality rate and postpartum deaths.
3) Not so frequent wars drastically have brought down unnatural deaths.
After 1945, no other Hitler was born.
Every year nearly 140 million babies are born. But only 55 million people die. That means a net addition of 85 million people every year.”
“How are they going to manage the limited resources on the planet? Do they have any plans?” Shinigami pitched in.
“They are exploring the options of another planet. It may be ‘Mars’ in the future. But that still is a far cry!” Apophis enlightened the gathering.
“Clever people they are. But, I think, this is going to jeopardize our future as gods. So what are we doing here today?” Hel expressed his concern.
“We have to have a plan to get these growing numbers down.”
“How can we kill people just like that? And you know how many people are turning into actual devotees now! If you look at India, the number of temples is exponentially rising. They spend money like mad in the name of god on outsourcing their small little problems. They are even ready to kill in the name of religion!”
“That is true. How about spreading pandemics like Covid-19 more often? That can absolve us from that accusation if a virus kills them. It’s like killing two birds with one stone.”
“To me, that appears to be an excellent idea. But then how can the world blame China for all the ills that are happening? They do require a scapegoat, you see.” suddenly Osiris (Egyptian God), who had joined the meeting late, found his voice.
Meng Po (Chinese god of death) didn’t like the way the conversation was going, but he managed to keep silent. Though he was a Chinese god, there was no love lost between Him and the Chinese.
“And yes, the virus needs to be different every time. The scientists discover the vaccines so fast that the viral dominance starts waning away soon.
Any other idea anyone has?”
“I just thought of one idea,” Hades couldn’t keep quiet for so long.
“How about implanting the idea of killing the race; genocide to be precise; in the brains of the incumbent dictators!
Christopher Nolan, I heard, had used this idea in his movie called Inception.”
“Oh, that is innovative. But who do you think is the right person for the job?”
“Who else but Vladimir Putin?”
- Nandkishor Shingne
