Inside the First Couples Counseling Session, Translations of Common Phrases

As a couples therapist, I am privy to the kinds of conversations and relationship defining moments that laypeople have to turn on reality TV to witness. Most couples are nervous during their first sessions and it may be hard to draw them out about how they really feel about the relationship. (Hint: if you’re in my office, you’re not thrilled.) This post can give you a window into what people say in their initial intake sessions and what they really mean.

1- Our sex life is fine.

Translation: Our sex life is terrible.

2- I really respect him as a father.

Translation: The one thing I can’t complain about is he usually remembers to pick the kids up at daycare.

3- She really puts the kids first.

Translation: If I had just suffered a massive stroke, she would step over my unconscious body to keep bedtime on schedule.

4- Sure, we could improve our communication.
Translation: I keep forgetting why she said we’re here. If she just stopped complaining we would be fine.

5- There are some issues with his parents.
Translation: I get a nervous twitch before any major holiday that could require seeing my in-laws. During their…