Mental Health Activities for Teens with Anxiety
In the series “The Healing Powers of Dude,” an 11-year-old boy with social anxiety disorder must enter middle school. When he steps inside the school building, he imagines the students as zombies. He “freaks out” when a classmate tries to befriend him and feels like sinking on the floor before entering a classroom. When asked to speak in a social setting, he envisions himself becoming invisible. In the end, a mischievous mutt becomes his emotional support dog, and he was adopted by an extroverted classmate and a girl in a wheelchair. With his newfound support group, he developed social skills and was able to navigate difficult situations.
Managing anxiety in the real world can be hard! Many kids I see hold in their anxiety, so it can be hard to see, especially when they do well in school. I recently worked with a top academic and athlete, Carly, who hid her internally crippling anxiety from her parents, teachers, and coaches. She was holding it together until she wasn’t. The signs were there: sleep problems, irritability, and no smiles. Eventually, the stress and lack of sleep caught up to her and she physically and mentally broke down. With a forced school break so she could catch up on sleep and concentrate on reducing her stress levels with PEMF, neurofeedback, and psychotherapy, Carly went back to school not just with new tools but she reprioritized and cut back on overscheduling.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. Sometimes we have moments of anxiety that pass but sometimes compounded stressors can lead to clinical anxiety. It can be a response to something that has happened or that you think might happen. Anxiety can create not just an emotional response but can lead to physical reactions, such as heart racing, muscle tension, pain, panic attack, and sweating.
Change and social interactions can cause anxiety. Socializing in today’s world isn’t easy. Such as the case in teens going through physical transformations and environmental changes at a fast pace. They must let go of childhood comfort and step into high school, a world with more heartbreaks, jealousy, aspirations, adventures, and frustrations.
During the pandemic, everyone felt some level of stress, and some even have clinical anxiety levels. Isolation can trigger separation anxiety, and communicating with people close to us can help. Physical presence is preferable, but even online messaging can foster a feeling of connectedness.
Acknowledging stress, anxiety, and fear is an excellent way to normalize this authentic human experience that deserves to be felt and dealt with in healthy ways. Using strategies to help you overcome these tough emotions is the first step to living a happy life. It’s better than trying to push them away.
Adolescence
Adolescence is a period of growth spurts and puberty changes. An adolescent may grow several inches in several months, followed by a period of slow growth, then experience another growth spurt. Those changes can be hard on a kid physically and emotionally. Changes with puberty may happen gradually, or several signs may appear all at once. Some teenagers may mature ahead of their peers and that means they may look older, which may come with increased expectations.
Teenage years bring about a lot of first time experiences and physical, emotional, and social changes. During these years, adolescents develop their capacity for abstract thought, which helps them eventually make plans and establish long-term objectives. And with increased awareness, teens begin to see the world outside of themselves and understand there are a lot of hardships many faces. That empathic understanding is an important part of developmental growth but also may be painful for some too.
Every teen grows at a different rate and has a unique perspective on the world. Those perspectives foster interests and dislikes, as they really begin the normal differentiation process away from their parents toward adulthood. They are finding out who they are and hopefully integration all the lessons they have learned along the way.
The following qualities are observable in young adults:
- Develops abstract thinking skills
- Forms and makes their own choices
- Should be more independent in managing their schoolwork, hygiene and daily habits
- Dwells on philosophy, politics, and social issues (can be overly passionate and become anxious over global warming or other environmental issues)
- Thinks long-term and sets goals
- Compares self to peers, may feel jealous, insecure, or competitive.
As your adolescent craves independence and control, changes are expected, and you may encounter some issues.
- Wants independence from parents
- Peer influence and peer pressure happen. They want to belong.
- They may become passionate about romantic and sexual relationships
- May fall in love
- Wants more control of their decision making
- Wants less supervision
These drastic changes may worry some moms. However, it is important to trust and support teens in this delicate phase. A show of support encourages your child to open up.
- Encourage your adolescent to take on new challenges
- Give opportunities for autonomy with boundaries
- Expect your kid to make mistakes and take it as an opportunity for them to learn from their mistakes without shame or blame
- Have a conversation about not losing sight of one’s self in group relations and loving yourself for who you are
- Encourage your adolescent to talk to a trusted adult. Be supportive even if it’s not you that they choose to talk to. Role model and discuss ways to manage stress
- Provide consistent, loving discipline with limits, restrictions, and rewards
- Be creative in finding fun ways to spend time together
Understanding that discomfort is temporary may instill hope in children with anxiety disorders and help them visualize a better day ahead because they have developed problem solving skills from this opportunity that failure of discomfort brought.
Teen Depression and Mental Health in Adolescence
Mental health conditions manifest in adolescence. One in five young people has a diagnosable disorder.
Teenagers may experience anxiety, depression, and other types of distress that are normal for their stage of development but may pass quickly. It can be challenging to determine when a situation requires therapeutic care. There are often somatic signs of stress and anxiety that are there and parents need to pay attention to their child’s behavior. When in doubt, speaking with a school counselor or other trusted mental health professional is the best course of action when in doubt.
Parents who notice mental health challenges in their child can help by becoming knowledgeable about the early warning signs of mental health issues and asking about their child’s thoughts and experiences. Early identification therapy can help prevent a disorder from worsening and getting to what is often a very scary crisis. Most conditions can be effectively controlled or treated when addressed early. And frankly, too many teens get to me in Carly’s state: broken down, exhausted, and depressed. We can do better for our teens when we address the behaviors we see and prioritize mental health.
Why are teenagers having a tough time?
Ninety-one percent of Gen Zers manifest signs of stress, such as anxiety or sadness. Parental tendencies like overscheduling, social stress, too much academic work, social media envy, and news on the recession and mass shootings may contribute to this.
Today’s teens have a lot of pressure on them with little down time or really fun time. It is all about getting those good grades for college with little emphasis on social-emotional development.
What are the best ways to help my teen manage negative feelings?
Parents can show care by being empathetic and supportive without passing judgment. Teens achieve more when not pressured to be perfect. So, let your child be themselves. Support their relationships with other caring adults like teachers and mentors and most importantly have ongoing conversations about stress and emotions. Kids need to see and hear you role model good emotional balance.
Positive Parenting
We want our kids to have high self-esteem, self-confidence, and independence. That foundation is built with good parenting and resilience. Children aren’t born resilient. They learn to cope with life’s stressors by tolerating and dealing with uncomfortable emotions and sensations. Yes, our kids must experience discomfort and develop their coping mechanisms for stressful situations, and we must let them.
Parenting and discipline strategies go beyond correcting misbehavior. It is about teaching acceptable behaviors and building the skills required to self-regulate their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It involves providing them with the tools to confidently handle whatever comes their way. When children are resilient, they can react to stressors healthily.
We build our child’s resilience by setting “loving limits,” which are clear limits with flexibility that accommodate emotional or behavioral distress. This combines positive parenting with the flexibility to teach kids how to manage big emotions.
Kids today struggle with managing big emotions. Their lack of coping skills significantly contributes to the skyrocketing number of mental health issues. As a result, they explode over little things.
Punishment won’t make the anxiety that drives a behavior disappear. However, a hug or walking away from each other might work.
Focus on the source of the behavior and teach problem-solving skills without screaming and punishment. Kids need to experience failure so they can figure out solutions today and in the future. Keep in mind that parenting is teaching, and we want our kids to develop a toolkit of coping mechanisms that will make them more resilient.
When you focus on teaching and building coping skills, your child can manage their emotions and behaviors more independently. And that lesson will serve them today and tomorrow. Kids that can manage stress and problem-solve are more resilient, and resiliency is associated with greater happiness. Isn’t that what we want for our kids?
Helpful Techniques for Adolescents With Anxiety
Practice Self-Care
Daily self-care for our bodies and minds keeps us grounded, connected, and upbeat. With stress being so much part of everyday life, we must battle stress with good self-care, which improves our outlook. Not only will our children benefit from watching us keep it together or figuring it out when we don’t, they will develop their own tools to calm their brain. And remember, without a calm brain, no learning can occur.
Breathing Exercises
When stressed or anxious, your breathing can become irregular and shallow. This can have an adverse effect on your autonomic nervous system (ANS) and make you feel anxious.
Deep breathing allows more carbon dioxide to enter your blood, which quiets down parts of the brain, such as the emotional centers that handle your anxiety response: the limbic system and amygdala. Meanwhile, slow, deep breathing functionally resets the autonomic nervous system, supports a positive sense of self, and lowers stress levels.
There are many different breathing methods, but the 4–7–8 works quickly for calming the nervous system by creating a rhythmic breathing pattern. When you do a 4–7–8 breath, you are working to exhale a few counts longer than your inhale. When you do this, the vagus nerve, which goes from the neck down through the diaphragm, sends a signal to your brain to increase your parasympathetic nervous system and decrease your sympathetic nervous system, resulting in a calmer state.
Visualize
Visualization is an easy technique that can be done in a few steps.
- Take three deep breaths to eliminate worry.
- Let go of negative emotion.
- Ease in positivity. Feel the joyful energy enter your body.
- Start visualizing something relaxing: taking a walk on the Caribbean beach on a summer afternoon.
- See and feel yourself enjoying that moment.
- Bring in those sensory elements — the feel of the sand on your feet, the sound of the waves, the wind, the coolness of the water, the blow of the wind, the Junkanoo music, and the Bahamian Reggae
- Take a few moments every day to visualize.
Meditate
Meditation is free and easy. It calms your mind and body and restores your balance. Forty days of meditation can change your brain waves and improve stress.
Try progressive relaxation meditation, a form of meditation where you are guided to relax each part of your body and calm your inner chatter.
Explore meditation apps and find a routine that works for you.
Biofeedback
Biofeedback is an evidence-based technology used for decades to reduce stress and enhance well-being. It takes a few minutes daily to connect with our body and not let the stress dictate our lives, restoring a sense of positivity, balance, and hope.
Biofeedback works at the conscious level. It helps you learn to control your breathing, body temperature, heart rate, muscles, and skin conductance to bring down anxiety, depression, insomnia, pain, and stress.
Heart rate variability training (HRV) is a biofeedback technology that you can incorporate into your daily routine to sync your heart rate and breath.
Your nervous system calms with HRV biofeedback, and you experience better mood, enhanced focus, and reduced tension.
Keep Busy
Worry quickly enters the idle mind in stressful times. Visualizing your day and goals and being continually purposeful detracts you from your inner chatter.
Pursue nurturing hobbies and extracurricular activities such as art or crafting, focus on your work, or read a book. Diversion is a great way to stop upsetting thoughts from flooding in.
Focus on the positive
Develop a sunny outlook with intention and practice. People with positive outlooks are happier and live longer. It may be easier said than done, but the next time you catch a negative thought, flip it over by finding something to be grateful for.
Use Essential Oils
Enter into a relaxed state with essential oils. These little miracle workers do a lot for your body, from making skin look great to lifting your spirits with natural scents. Essential oil molecules enter through your air passages to go to your lungs, brain, and other body parts. As the molecules reach the brain, they affect the limbic system, which is linked to the emotions, memory, and attentional systems, as well as our hormone and immune systems. It can lower cortisol and stress levels.
Here are the best essential oils for anxiety. Our personal favorite is the Sunflower oil that also does wonders for making the skin fairer and the hair smoother. Sunflower oil also lightens scars and is guarded as a cult beauty secret. It’s a nice way to encourage your young lady to use it.
- Lavender
- Chamomile
- Sunflower
- Orange
- Sandalwood
- Clay Sage
- Ylang-ylang
Ultimately, human connection and positive relationships foster positive emotions and create a safe space. As they say, the quality of your relationships affects the quality of your life. Being amidst trusted family members calms you. Technology and social media may also be used for the good, to foster meaningful relationships.
Citations:
Cappana-Hodge, Roseann (2021), It’s Gonna Be Okay
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Gonna-Be-Ok-Improve-ebook/dp/B092KFNPG6
Johns Hopkins Medicine (2022), The Growing Child: Adolescent 13 to 18 Years
Healthline (2022) Essential Oils for Stress
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/essential-oils-for-stress
National Library of Medicine (2022), Adolescent Development
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK545476/
Psychology Today (2022), Adolescence
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/adolescence#mental-health-in-adolescence
The Healing Powers of Dude (2022)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10540562
World Health Organization (2022), Adolescent Health
https://www.who.int/health-topics/adolescent-health
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
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Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of media outlets including, CBS, NBC, FOX News, PIX11 NYC, The New York Times, The Washington Post,, Business Insider, USA Today, CNET, Marth Stewart, and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.”
She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Mental Health Professional (CIMHP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach. She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) International Society for Neurofeedback and Research (ISNR) and The Association of Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback (AAPB).
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