Reasons I don’t hit publish
This will be my first published work on Medium. Actually, it will be my first published thing on Medium that was live for more than 5 minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I want to write. I just have a hard time hitting that publish button.
There’s something that feels slightly different about hitting the publish button on Medium as opposed to hitting the publish button on any personal blogs that I’ve had. Before, I told myself that no one would read the things that I wrote. They were a part of a website that wasn’t connected to anything else, with little way for anyone to discover it. Medium opens that door for things to actually be discovered. That’s both fascinating and terrifying.
When I scroll through the posts on Medium that I read every day, I feel like there’s always content there. When I read my own work, I don’t see that. I’m sure that’s probably some kind of personal bias against my own writing. I’m sure other people deal with it, too. I know these things, but knowing something doesn’t always make it easier to do something.
Something else I’ve always been good at is being “too busy.” I don’t hang out with someone because I’m “too busy” doing something else. I saw a recent comment on Hacker News regarding airing the persona of being busy as a shield to saying “no” and that really resonated with me. In fact, Sam Gentle’s entire article Sabotage (to which the comment was in response to) was a really great read. One mindset that I’ve been trying to adopt is that if a task takes less than a certain amount of time (I’ve set the bar at 2 minutes for now), I should just get it done. I don’t know if that will help my writing, but I might be able to use that time to brainstorm.
So I’ll make a deal with you, Medium. You promise not to judge how bad my writing is, and I’ll promise to write more. My goal is to write one new post a week, for now. As I start to have ideas faster and my writing ability starts to improve, I’ll try to post more. I’ve already got tens of drafts saved up that I haven’t published, so that’s a great place to start.