All Seems Lost in this Issue of Election 2016

“Let’s be honest,” CNBC moderator John Harwood asked. “Is this a comic-book version of a presidential campaign?”

A vexing question for some, but Trump’s super power makes him impervious to criticism, gaffes, and blunders. Last week I blogged on why Donald Trump would win the Republican nomination. Seven victories later there was no Super “Cruzday” or Ruby-io Tuesday. Though the two did combine to win 4 states, they certainly under-delivered.

Todays Drunk Politics is brought to you by Grolsch

Rubio spent the week attacking Trump like he was Trump, except he’s not. Rubio is a gifted politician and he has legitimate policies, but in this election he’s a just a guy. You know those types that fill out the bottom half of your favorite sports teams roster — Rubio is one of them and so are the rest.

“TrusTed” Cruz stuck to his message and his message remained stuck in neutral. Kasich, is either being valiant or assailant to the Republican Party, he has yet to make up his mind, though voters have. And Carson is all but out of the race. Can anyone stop Trump? Is the Earth doomed? Then the hits just kept coming when Chris Christie took a heel-turn and endorsed Trump. Looks like my prediction on Trumps Vice Presidential nominee quickly gained some footing.

Christie re-appeared on stage to introduce Donald, fresh off his vanquishing of opponents and perhaps the GOP as we know it (depending on which pundits you ask). This wasn’t just a press conference. This was meant to be a reproduction of the White House press room. Adorned in flags, complete with the press corps, and a new found right-hand man he spoke and then answered questions as if he were already President. While perhaps the media did not sense the theatrics, a casual and slightly inebriated observer did. His projection of power and self-ordained destiny served as a ploy to give viewers a feeling of leadership and command-ability. I doubt this was lost on his supporters or those on the fence.

By once again eschewing the cookie-cutter campaign and embracing his larger than life image — Donald engineered a powerful presentation of his ambition. He one-upped the field again. The complete opposite of this was a sitting Governor who looked zoned out in a flower flipping psilocybin induced mind freak in which he never got the memo about the brown acid. The tweeters and the meme-rs quickly quickly seized on this.

Don’t eat the brown acid

The shear amount of hate Chris Christie received makes me wonder if my prediction that he would be the VP pick is now out the window. Trump may have sucked all of the blood possible out of Chris Christie and will discard his political carcass in favor of something with more value. You know, something fresher and more appealing, and less Christie.

I mean, right? I mean really, right!

Which brings us to Clinton and what I feel is her seemingly doomed campaign. If there is a more robotic candidate than Rubio, its Clinton. Out of all the Democrats this year, she is the most susceptible to Trump. The emails, the speeches, the history of the Clinton’s. It’s all there for the taking. And Trump will take it all. Can you imagine what Trump is going to say to her in the debates? At his rallies? What will she do when Trump says “How can she handle the White House when she couldn’t handle her own home.” What will she do when Trump hires Monica Lewinsky to his staff? Disclosure, neither of those ideas are mine. The former came from a family-member and the latter an article I can’t seem to find.

I’m not saying he’ll do either of those, he’ll likely do something even crazier, but when Trump hits her with something like that how will she respond? Bill will implode. Her campaign is incapable of dealing with stuff, any stuff (see 2008), except for maybe a well-liked socialist. Her only hope is to dig up massive earth shattering dirt on Trump and save it for an instance like this. A secret weapon against the comic book villain — though its typically the villain with the secret weapon.

Career politicians and campaign managers are incapable of the tactics necessary to beat Trump. It’s like taxi companies complaining about Uber and Lyft, the business of politics has been disrupted and for this election cycle the old may die out.

Wanted: Jedi Master for hire

Hillary’s best hope is getting a massively beloved and charismatic populist as her VP. She lacks the ability to motivate and inspire. That’s okay, most politicians do, but her campaign should recognize this weakness.

My fear is she will select a boring retread Governor or Senator and a Biden will not do. Biden worked for Obama, because Obama was everything Clinton is not, so he selected a policy oriented politician. Biden is to Obama, as Robin is to Batman. Hillary should understand that she is the policy guru and needs to nominate a Super Man or Super Women to crush the comic book villain. She can be Clark Kent all she wants, but her Vice President will need to be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a — well you know.