Hi Sumant, you wrote: “I am just not pretty enough to make it through life as a perpetual victim.” That’s what I’m calling you out on as insulting, diminishing, and denigrating women. If you require explanation (seriously?), the word “pretty” is used in reference to a woman or if it’s used to desribe a man it’s in an offensive way with an intent to emasculate and denigrate. I can recognize that this insult is unconscoius. As in, you didn’t consciously intend to insult, but that’s how unconscious patriarchal programming shows up.
Mind-reading is really not required. Words and behaviors show the contents of the subconscious mind.
I understand that your programming does not allow you to take in information that’s contrary to your beliefs, even as it’s based on decades of professional experience and research. But perhaps, if it comes from a man it may be more palletabe.
I recommend books by Lewis Howes “The Mask of Masculinity” as far as how men experience the trauma of patriarchy. And by Mark Epstein, PhD “The Trauma of Everyday Life” on broadening the outdated, narrow definition of trauma.
You see, Sumant, science and society are evlolving. So are the definitions. Of trauma. Of masculinity. Once upon a time it was a “scientific fact” that the earth was flat.
For me, this is not about getting anyone to change their minds or way of thinkning. This is to help people who already realize that their lives can be bigger and greater, work more fulfilling, relationships more satisfying, their human experience more joyful and less stressful — and are looking for ways to get there.
I’m saying that healing trauma is a huge missing link on this journey of creating ultimate success and happiness. I’m saying that patriarchal society traumatizes both women and men — differently — and that causes a lot of suffering for in individuals, relationships, organizations, and society at large. I’m making this claim based on my over 20,000 hours of experience as a therapist, having helped thousands of individuals and hundreds of couples break free from the bondage of the inner prison of the layered cake of trauma — that’s such an integral part of the human experience — and create lives that they desire.
I respect your right to disagree. I respect your personal experience and opinion.
I do not respect resorting to insults and aggression simply because you disagree. “Snarky” is one of the flavors of aggression, FYI. Yes, a more subtle kind yet toxic nonetheless.
I long for the day when a person taking an opposing position to my views can do so without the hallmarks of trauma of patriarchal conditioning — insults, aggression, dismissing, denigrating, and diminishing.
Thank you for the energy you’ve invested in my project.