Trump Leads by Example, Literally Helping to Make America Great

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the primary definition of ‘great’ is notably large in size : huge. So when Trump says he wants to make America great again, the conclusion is inescapable.

It was disappointing to learn that the US no longer led the world in the percentage of obese citizens. Several years ago, the US was #1 in obesity, with no rivals even a couple of percentage points close. It was a shock to learn that today, in 2016, we, the people of the United States, have fallen off that perch.

In this review of the world’s fattest countries, the US is down to #10 with a mere 31.8% of its adult citizenry obese. Mr. Trump would likely be embarrassed to learn that Mexico, of all countries, has surged to #9 in the world. Apart from one small Latin American country, the other world leaders are countries in the middle East, so they could be disregarded as unimportant by Mr. Trump.

To preserve our American sense of greatness, the aforementioned review does point out that “it stands out on this list because it has a way higher standard of living than any of these other countries. It is the richest and most powerful country in the world, and as such, it should not be so far behind comparable countries when it comes to the health of its population. There are, of course, other issues that the United States struggles with when compared to similar western countries, such as literacy, equality, and safety.” Clearly, Trump can take solace from this because America IS the greatest amongst the countries that really count, in his view.

In Trumpworld, clearly, it’s important to be the BEST, but less important as to what you might be best at. So he can proudly point to our obesity leadership in the developed world.

But Trump isn’t just paying lip service here. He is leading the country by being obese (or overweight, depending on what he says his height is). Moreover, he is willing to sacrifice his own health by living on empty-calorie fast food in the service of America’s greatness. By his self-sacrificing example, he is doing more than his part to maintain America’s greatness in the world, for which he deserves our thanks.

You may be thinking, but what about all the fat-shaming? Unh-unh. He doesn’t really mean it. Everyone knows he lies. Watch what he does, not what he says.