Thoughts I Have in the Toilet: Corporate Minion

Minions that work a 9 to 5, 10 to 7, or any other contemporary working time at a corporate day job, quite often contemplate the reason for subjecting themselves to the torture of a device that is the alarm clock. Clearing the system before working the system is an essential process that kickstarts the working day with a dump of thoughts.

1. How did I not wake up on time even after 13 pre-alarms before the actual alarm?
2. Why did I have to eat spicy food at dinner?
3. Have to start eating healthy.
4. I will consult a nutritionist and get a customized meal plan for myself.
5. I don’t get paid enough.
6. Or I can get a free one from ChatGPT.
7. Will go in early tomorrow to work and use the office gym.
8. 17 pre-alarms?
9. Or I can just go before lunch. Yes!
10. Have to block my calendar for this. Self-Care.
11. And of course, Boss will set a meeting at the same time.
12. But self-care is more important.
13. What about making an honest living and being sincere to the company?
14. Stop laughing or you will fall off.
15. You don’t have the time to clean the mess. Stop it.
16. Seriously, stop laughing. Take a look at the mess that is your life.
17. Okay, stop crying now.
18. Maybe I should see a therapist.
19. I don’t get paid enough.
20. Remember to tell HR to focus on employees’ mental health.
21. STOP LAUGHING.
22. Take the initiative yourself and then boast about it.
23. Make the office better for everyone.
24. Work towards a goal that is bigger than yourself.
25. Yes. I have newfound motivation for work.
26. But don’t forget to post about it on LinkedIn.
27. To inspire others of course.
28. Learn from the Marketing team who can even make sneezes look like gold elixir.
29. Is there enough money or will the Finance team just say no even if there is?
30. On the Day of Judgement when everyone will be questioned, the Finance team will be and should be questioned extra!
31. Extra? Weren’t there some extra people at the offsite leadership strategy retreat happening at the fancy resort?
32. The strategy was just jumping out of the screen in the LinkedIn posts.
33. I should also retreat to Europe to strategize my life.
34. If it is working for the leadership, it will work for everybody, right?
35. I will go explore Europe.
36. Cross-cultural experiences.
37. Yes, these are real goals. Self-care.
38. But will it cost too much?
39. Maybe, a backpacking trip across Europe.
40. Or even a local trip could work.
41. After all, one should know about their own country first.
42. I don’t get paid enough.
43. Or I can take leaves and just relax at home.
44. There’s no place like home, right?
45. Oh, but the rest of the team has already locked their leaves.
46. How can there be no good time till two months?
47. And how is the Boss going again?
48. Boss just got back from a family wedding out of town and is now off again?
49. Of course, minion rules are different. I forgot.
50. Or maybe, Boss forgot?
51. Boss did forget they asked for the changes in the new presentation themselves.
52. Boss also forgot what time my work day ends.
53. Boss also forgot the work they assigned to me was extremely urgent and the world would end if it was not completed before EOD.
54. Boss also forgot how urgent it was but then said I should just email it to them and they will see it in the morning.
55. The world did not end at EOD.
56. I don’t get paid enough.