Kicking It in a New Field

My journey of reconciling past dreams and future ambitions

I had spent my entire life wanting to be a soccer player. From kicking a ball at a cardboard box in my kitchen every day to going to every practice to attending the World Cup final, my whole life had been geared toward becoming a professional soccer player. But now, as I sat at my kitchen table across from my parents, that was all about to change. I told them, with just a few short words, that the dream was over: “I don’t think I want to play soccer this spring.”

I had known for a while that I was not going to become a professional, but I kept on playing for the love of the game. But as my goal became a fantasy, I had picked up new interests. I began attending the debate and Model United Nations clubs. I took notice of the news and formed my political views. My world was no longer just a 70 by 120 yard grass rectangle, but a broad globe of interesting topics and diverse opinions. My quest for knowledge expanded beyond knowing the score of every Red Bulls game; I wanted to learn about the issues facing society, the solutions proposed, and the pros and cons to each solution.

Taking on both my passions, the old and the new, to the fullest extent became untenable. On Tuesday afternoons, I simply could not be at debate and soccer practice. I had to make a decision, either to move on from my childhood obsession, or to rebuke my new interest and stick to my lifelong journey.

My decision had its consequences, both negative and positive. I became president of the debate and Model UN clubs. I grew by leaps and bounds in both my skill for these competitions and my awareness of the world around me. I got involved with some local political groups and then landed a job as field director for a state senate campaign. I had truly fulfilled my ambition to get involved. And yet, driving by the fields in town, I was constantly reminded of the joy that soccer had given me and how much I missed the game.

Summer came and each day I would spend my hours making phone calls, organizing volunteers, and writing our issues statements for endorsements and the website. Some days I was in awe of the amazing opportunity and intriguing work, other days I would look longingly at my old cleats, wishing I was out kicking the ball around with my former teammates.

As autumn drew closer, I had to make my final choice. If I didn’t try out for the team that fall, there would be no turning back. I would be finished with soccer. I was committed to the campaign and to debate and to all the other opportunities that quitting soccer had afforded me. But the temptation to get back in the game was ever-present.

The end of summer also brought the first debate of the campaign. The big day came and the candidate brought me to a back room, away from the chaos of the Democratic headquarters. “Prepare me,” he told me. With two short words he sealed the hardest decision I had ever had to make. Over the next three hours, I peppered him with questions on healthcare, taxes, jobs, education, you name it. Together we developed new policy initiatives, effective rebuttals to what the opponent would say, and an inspiring closing statement.

From that day on, I held no regrets. I still wore a soccer jersey every day, I still attended and watched soccer games regularly, but that was all I needed. Election day came before I knew it and although the candidate did not find a new profession in the state senate, I had found mine. While the results trickled in at the headquarters, I watched in my new uniform: a blazer, a button-down shirt, and a green tie with a small Major League Soccer logo on the back.