The Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Daddy Issues
The relationships between the Avengers and their fathers are the defining ones.
Endgame opens on Clint Barton — the only person in the Marvel Cinematic Universe who has always prioritized fatherhood over heroism — teaching his daughter his trade. Despite retiring from the superhero team before Infinity War and actively trying to be a present dad, Thanos’ snap erases his family, subjecting Clint to any parent’s worst fear. He is stripped of his title as father and abandons heroism as a result, becoming the lone samurai Ronin. With a cool mohawk fade.
The MCU is driven by paternal legacy. Odin spends most of the Thor series preparing his son (or daughter, in flashbacks) for the throne — he fails with both kids. In Black Panther, T’Chaka’s worst mistake of abandoning a young Killmonger comes back to haunt (and attempt to kill) his son. Star-Lord both meets and murders his Celestial father Ego in Guardians 2.
It is therefore no surprise that the diametric spiritual leaders of the MCU are the films’ two most scorned sons and cursed fathers: Thanos and Tony Stark.
There is a divine tension present in scenes with Thanos and Tony that does not get much play between the villain and other heroes; their standard “good-versus-evil” superhero babble has an undertone of respect from sharing a “cursed knowledge”. I believe their connection is cosmically significant — I believe they share the same goal and same destiny.
Thanos needs the Infinity Stones in order to rise to the power level of a God and be seen as an equal of his family, and Tony’s endless advancement of his Iron Man technology - including modifying it specifically to absorb the Stones - is driven by a desire to prove himself to his robotics genius father.
Thanos is the shame of an ethereal lineage: his grandfather is the straight-up god Chronos, his father is A’lars the Eternal, his brother is a handsome, carefree half-god — and Thanos is a purple, ballchinned, mutated deviant.
This unbalanced upbringing causes Thanos to take up the holy cause of universal equity, proclaiming the word of neutrality while deeply favoring one of his own two daughters, Gamora. When he sacrifices her for the Soul Stone in Infinity War, he gives up on being a dad to gain cosmic power. Thanos does acquire the Stones, which grants him Godlike influence over existence. But it is artificially obtained divinity, and with his last breath, the God of Mischief Loki whispers “you will never be a God,” reminding Thanos his quest to be respected by his father is futile.
Similarly, Tony’s tenure as Iron Man has been defined by perpetually climbing to his father’s expectations.
With Civil War, Phase 3 of the MCU opens on a young Tony interacting with his father through a virtual reality simulation, a self-admitted “multi-billion dollar therapy session” (here’s where I avoid Far From Home spoilers), and both Iron Man 2 and Civil War have plots predominately featuring a long-dead Howard Stark, strongly suggesting his persistent postmortem influence over Tony.
Through time travel in Endgame, Tony is allowed to perceive his father as an equal in age and intellect. Tony sees his own fears about parenthood and technological responsibility reflected in his father, who also struggled to find the balance between the two - said in reference to a human infant: “did you have any idea how to successfully operate that thing?”
Through literally and metaphorically gaining control over his past and confronting his father, he resolves the underlying egoist narrative of the Iron Man series and is prepared to fight for something other than himself.
The father figure role Tony hesitantly plays to Peter Parker has set the foundation for paternity legacy continuing as a major theme in the MCU, and he is also survived by his biological daughter, Morgan.
By choosing to help the Avengers in Endgame, Tony knows that he is sacrificing a quiet retirement with his makeshift family. Paralleling Thanos sacrificing Gamora in order to accomplish his goal of equity, Tony offers himself to the universe, giving up on a life with Peter and his daughter to give them second chance he desires.
In the quest to prove themselves worthy to their fathers, Tony and Thanos sacrifice the potential to be fathers themselves. This is the cursed destiny they share, and the constant theme of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
